Sunday, May 20, 2012

Another Random Thoughts Post

When I wasn't catching up on the Nostalgia Chick videos at work, I found myself thinking odd things. Like:

Do you ever think God has Dissociative Identity Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder? Maybe a combination of both? It would explain a lot of things about religion in general.

Sometimes Ricky Gervais' laugh makes him sound like a muppet. Or like a squeaky toy is trying to make its way out of his lungs. Or like a clown is sodomizing a rubber ducky. Or like he's doing Joker impressions. Or like he's been locked in an insane asylum for ten years and has been reduced to drawing vulgar cartoons on the padded walls in his own fecal matter for entertainment because they don't trust him with pencils or markers.



I don't understand pop music, as a genre. I mean I like some of it, I'll listen to it, give it a try but I don't understand how it's a genre. Pop is short for popular. I don't think it should actually be a genre of music. It should just be an adjective used to describe most of the radio play music you hear. How is it a genre? In Japan (and probably other places, but I've heard it used to describe some genres of J-Pop usually) there is a genre called 'bubblegum pop' music. Bubblegum is the really pretty, kind of preppy music. Think 'Baby One More Time' by Brittany Spears for an American version I guess. I've heard people call Blink 182 punk pop music. So obviously pop is the genre and everything else is a qualifier. But then I hear that punk pop is not to be confused with or is the same as pop punk (Fuck the what? Exactly!) which is what Green Day would be it seems. If they're not the same thing then pop shouldn't be a genre of music. We need to come up with a new word for pop and let it stay as an adjective.

Is it just me or do the olives that restaurants and carry out places put in your Greek salad remind anyone else of a penis? Both by look and taste. I mean seriously, take a good look at those olives the next time you're about to put one in your mouth. The part where the stem should be totally looks like the head of a penis. And it kind of tastes like it to in a weird way. They're my favorite kind of olives besides black olives. Yes, my favorite olive is dick, shut up.

You know that last one is going to be a revelation to any and all of the cocksuckers that read this blog. And they'll most likely never say it, but all the straight men are now going to go buy a Greek salad and only eat the olives thinking, 'So that's what it's like. I'm fucking delicious!'

Yes men, yes you are.