Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Cats And Doctors! They're All Out To Get Me!

I am sick. We're not crossing into very sick territory but we are staying in pretty sick territory.

The everything aches, I can't eat, must stay warm always sick.

My friend's stupid cat bit me....I think it's because she's a bitch. I've never actually been bit by a cat before. When I have, my cat's always nipped me because I'm annoying her. This cat tried to take out a chunk to feed her babies with. I've never seen a cat bite gush blood before. Very scary looking.

I would have just waited for it to heal and done nothing but the cat's an ex stray, never got it's shots and friends of mine have continually gotten on me about possible rabies and such like that.

So because Patient First can't help me and told me to go to the ER in case I needed a rabies vaccination, I had to go to the ER with my three day old, healing nicely cat bite and my crazy friends Mr.C and TJ.

After repeating at least 5 times what happened and why exactly I felt the need to take it to the ER. I was then told that apparently you don't need to worry about cats or the rats they kill for rabies as much as you do dogs and bats. Nice way to feel stupid. Then for some reason I had to wait like twenty minutes while someone told me I had to get a Tetanus shot....and then forgot about me.

Did you know that the side effect of a Tetanus shot is a low grade fever sometimes? .....I hate cats and doctors...I think they're all in cahoots together.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Haunted Covered Bridges

Went ghost hunting with the boys tonight. I really am going to have to get a digicam, could have taken some damn pictures. Oh well, we're planning on going back anyway. For now you're just going to have to trust the experiences of the three pagans that went.

Went to Baltimore's version of a 'crybaby bridge'. I know every place has one, just like every place seems to have a goat man or what not or some weirdo, perverted cretin of the night that likes to scare the shit out of teens getting it on in cars.

The place that we went to is on Jericho Rd. past Putty Hill for anyone interested in checking it out. Even if you're not going for the ghost aspect of it, it's apparently ripe with history.

Any who we go and there were two teens in a car in front of us going the same way. I figured that they were going to stop on the bridge but apparently they just drove right on over it. We actually stopped on the bridge on the first ride over. My friend whose name I cannot spell (he shall now be referred to as Mr.C), actually has the balls to get out of the car while I try turning the lights off. The place was creepy and he was going to try and talk to the spirit(s?) there but we noticed that the first car had stopped only a little ways away and figured they needed to come back the other way. As he's shutting the door we all hear this sound like someone is gasping for air, like a heavy breath. I'm already like fuck this.

I put the lights back on and drive through and then all thoughts of things that go bump in the night are driven from my mind as we play the dumbest fucking game of 'red light-green light' with the two teenagers in front of us.

As I'm pulling up behind them they apparently decide to make a three point turn in little three foot intervals. Do you know how annoying and long it is to do that?

Driving back the other way, we stop a little ways off out of courtesy because we didn't know if they wanted to actually stop on the bridge. We were all seriously hoping that they would because we wanted to go out to meet them but, sadly no.

The second time around all three of us, including the sleeping bastard TJ decide to get out. From the first time we stepped out I felt like there was panic. It was really creepy, I felt upset and like I needed help and to make matters creepier we kept hearing these breaths like someone was gasping for air.

We all thought this was enough and piled in the car. TJ actually felt so bad he started to get a headache...or maybe he just wanted to go back to sleep, I don't know. I didn't actually know the story of the bridge, I assumed some dinkus got pregnant and threw her baby off the bridge like all the other versions of the story. So me and Mr.C were talking about our experience and I told him that it felt like a kid was in danger but not necessarily a baby being thrown over. But it felt like I was trapped and needed help.

Mr.C told me that the actual story of the bridge was that a child was in the back of a covered hay wagon and somehow the wagon got caught on fire. The father noticed and stopped in the middle of the bridge and tried to save his kid but couldn't and the kid was burnt crispier the KFC chicken.

Could explain the gasps we heard. I'm thinking smoke inhalation?

But that's just our experience. We really want to go back and I really want a digicam before we do.

I don't usually beg for comments but I would love the hear anyone else's experiences with the bridge, or maybe you just have a weird ghostly story that happened to you. They're always fun to listen to.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Fuck My Life

"Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML"

This little beauty is on, wonderful new website my friend introduced me to. Has so much good schadenfreude on it. Always makes me feel good when I feel crappy. That and any gossip mag really. I may have bad hair days and crappy clothing sometimes, but at least no one writes about it in a magazine.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

One More Post For The Night

You ever watch old crap on youtube and find movies that make you feel you missed out on something awesome?

That something is Mrs.Jessicka from Jack Off Jill. I only recently got into them a couple of years ago, they broke up in 2000 and these are some awesome vids of Jessicka doing what she does best.

I think I have to stop hiding under a rock when it comes to music.

Nice One Parade

Parade translated. From page 2, March 15,2009 edition.

Question: Is it right for Hollywood to pass judgement on someone like Jessica Simpson for gaining weight? - Penny Scales, Palm Harbor, Fla.

Translation: Could y'all stop being assholes for like....two seconds?

Answer: We get your point.
Whine bag...

But after appearing for years in neckline-plunging dresses and midriff-baring short-shorts, Jessica has fallen prey to that old Hollywood saying, "Those who live by the camera die by the camera."
First off, no we can't stop being assholes. Secondly, 'no-talent' had it coming. Time to put on a turtle neck and some sweatpants.

Find out how stars- including Reese Witherspoon and Leonardo DiCaprio-deal with the spotlight at
Isn't everyone tired of living vicariously through Jessica yet? Here are some substitutions that don't whine as much as her.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Satanic Barbie

Sometimes when I read about how some people came to be Wiccan or Pagan, there's a time in their life when they doubt Christianity. Understandable and they wouldn't be Pagan if they didn't. But in some cases it seems they delve right into Satan worship and not the cool Anton LaVey Satan worship. Which as Wicca has nothing to do with him and is supposed to be a peaceful religion is the weirdest two heel faced turns I've ever seen.

I just want to know what is the thought process with that?

"Yay! I love God!" (Two months later) " You know, just not cutting it out for me anymore, fuck this I'm going to actively try and burn you all with hellfire." (Three months later) " You know, let's try and find something on the magical path, just not as evil.......Praise the Gods!"

It's just odd and not how I came to be Pagan at all.

That's not quite what this post is about though, but I was thinking about how weird it was today and then I remembered something from when I was a kid.

My parents split up a long time ago and when I went for a visit with my dad I spent the night at his new apartment that his friend had just moved out of and in the closet was a little wooden statue of Baphomet. For anyone who doesn't know who or what that is, it's this strange looking little mother fucker right here.

Aren't those the perkiest tits you've ever seen? And they were no less perky on that statue when I was 9 years old.

I don't know to much about Baphomet, I know it's rumored to be a Persian God, I know that some Satanists use the symbol (not just the kooky Anton's) for all their Satan-ey needs or whatnot. Also if you look it up on wikipedia, the info on 'em is really neat. Or however much of it I skimmed over was.

I just thought it was weird, I was so damn obsessed with it as a kid. Every time I spent the night at my dad's I had to look at it at least once. I would sometimes take it down from the closet and play with it, like a doll, I would even have it give orders to the people in the statue that were kneeling down before it (Oh yes I was a crazy child)....but weirdest of all I was obsessed with the boobs, I would play with them. I don't know why, probably because Barbie's aren't as perky nor realistic. Now, dad didn't know about the boob rubbing but he was completely fine with me playing with the statue.

I think when I finally get around to telling my dad I'm bisexual....I'm going to blame it on the doll.

Also in regards to my last post it has come to my attention that there is a strange little blurb in the begginning about how much I love the Beatles and it has nothing to do with the rest of the article. That's because the title was originally a Beatles song, but I am really lazy and I really do love the Beatles, so the blurb stays!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Here Comes The Bride, Her Dress Is Wide.

Damn do I love the Beatles. Sadly this post has nothing to do with them.

Just got done watching ABC's 'What Would You Do?' Where actors stage ethical dilemmas to gauge reactions. Kind of like Candid Camera only if you're not a complete douche you get to feel more holier then thou.

As always with programs like this some things annoy you or piss you off, or just touch your heart like the disabled woman who tried to get help for one actor that was dressed like a homeless man and pretended to faint. I mean like, continously, even after almost 30 people ignored her she didn't walk away and even checked to make sure he was still breathing. Seriously I cried like a baby on that one, but let me digress or else this whole post will be about nothing but the angel that was this old lady.

I guess because it hits on a personal note, the last scenario really got to me. In it a bride is trying on dresses and the mom berates and degrades her. In one scenario the bride is thin and in another fat. I guess I should not be surprised but when the mother was berating the thin bride and then left for the restroom, the bride had gaggles of women just clustered around her telling her she looked beautiful. Some women even intervened a little and told the mom to just be happy for her. She was getting so many compliments it was as if you kissed her ass enough she'd shit out a golden brick for you and a Rolls Royce (ok, who drives them anymore? Old and probably bad example but stay with me here).

Of course when it was the fat bride's turn very few people intervened or offered any compliments. It just sickens. Just because someone has a different body type then you do, it does not give another person any right to shame them about it. It was almost like everyone just decided 'Hey, maybe she'll go on a diet now. She's fat, she deserves it.'

Society needs to open it's eyes. If someone's fat that does not mean they should be degraded and humiliated for being fat. There are so many different reasons why people are fat and have different body types from eating to much, to genetics, to prescription drugs where weight gain is a side effect and many more. But it doesn't matter what the reason is, if someone is different then you, so what. This does not make them any less of a human being. This does not mean that they don't feel the same way anyone else does or that they are deserving of this treatment.

Oy vay, I swear sometimes I want to smack everyone's face off of thier faces.

Linkage for ABC, and by the by, the fat bride was hot, also I'm having trouble working the link edit, so sorry if you have to copy and paste.

Monday, March 9, 2009 anti-drug

Because let's face it, who can afford crack when you have a nerd habit to support? Have now got all the sims except for like free time and maybe one other from my friend for 50 bucks. Niceness. ^_^

Is it sad that the only reason I want to go to bed is so I can play the Sims when I get up?

And I have got to find the damnable code for nightlife. I must download Krevlornswath of the Deathwok clan again, sexy green Lorne. Yummays. I don't care what anyone says, I loved his voice. And if you have no clue who I'm talking fail at Angel, shame on you.

I do wonder though if the man that played his character ever got anymore work after that show.

Saturday, March 7, 2009


I just saw Passion of Christ, or really about 45 minutes of it, I had errands to run sadly, but it has left me for some serious passion for Christ. And no I'm not converting to Christianity, I'm just commenting on the fact that every time I see anything that has to do with Jesus he's a total sex pot looking mofo. Even Ted Alexandro agrees:

Now before I get any damn nasty messages from Christians for being blasphemous or whatnot, atleast I'm not acting on this I'm only entertaining the idea. Has anyone heard of the 'Jackhammer Jesus'? Google that shit it exists.....and is quasi disturbing.

Friday, March 6, 2009

My mother is crazy and my blog depressing.

I would love to know the wierd ways in which other people's parents or lovers or what have you wake them up.

I get woken up at 7 in the morning by my mother banging my door open and yell-talking at me. The following dialouge still boggles my mind....mainly the ending result.

Ma: Do you have work today?!
Me: ....What day ....Is today Friday?
Me: ....No.
Ma: This room stinks, you need to take a shower!
Me: ummm....
Ma: Oh and by the way, your friend called and his friend is having an asthma attack and left his inhaler in your car!

And at this point she leaves the room. Now first of all, no I do not stink I take showers thank you. The room itself smells kind of gross everytime I go in because our damn dog has pissed in it more times then I can remember and my brother is a typical gross little boy. But he's also adorable and therefore forgiven. This is apparently my fault....or whatever.

Second of all I haven't worked a friday in ...oh let's say two to three or so months. Why would I start now?

And thirdly and most importantly! If my friend is having an asthma attack so bad that they feel the need to call me at 7 in the fucking morning to get me to come over there and drop off an inhaler, don't you think you could have told me that first?? Why the hell she felt the need to drag out the strangest, abrupt and most awkward conversation before telling me my friend was having trouble breathing is beyond me. And it's not like there was any particular emphasis put on there either, she just kind of casually threw it in at the end.

Now crazy ass mother issues aside, it has come to my attention that my blog is very depressing and not how I envisioned it at all. So changes must be made, from now on, a lighter blog, funnier and more eclectic. Not so laden with serious things....and no more lazyness either.