Friday, May 29, 2009

My Last Hurrah

Mondays are boring. My brain just shuts down on them. I can never think of anything to do and never have anything to do, besides Girl scouts, but the kids had off school last Monday and subsequently there was no Girl scouts.

Last Monday the 25th I drove to Betterton Beach in the middle of the night. I never noticed how quiet a beach can be.

There must have been something, even subconsciously on my mind, because I could totally hear the waves saying Calm down.....Calm down.....Calm down.... each time they broke over the shore.

I am kind of getting screwed over in hours at my work, so I'm having to budget each and every paycheck so that I have enough money for car insurance and car payments and to save so I can move to North Carolina at the end of November. Yesterday I had enough money to go onto one more fuck it drive. So I decided to make it a good one and actually do something. I decided to go back to Betterton at night and do a ritual.

It has been a while since I did any rituals or spells. So I packed my bottle of Merlot and a glass and corkscrew and took 20 bucks and drove. When I got there all my anxieties and worries went away with the waves sound. I made sacred space and sacrificed a glass of Merlot to the roman God of the sea Neptune. It was there I looked out to the water and wished for health, prosperity and safety for myself, friends and family.

Then when the ritual was done I sat on a bench near the boardwalk and drank a glass to Him. I had to laugh because as quiet and lonely as the beach was, for a while I got scared because I kept hearing a squeaking noise. Then I figured out it was the little mice (or possibly cute sounding rats) under the walk and in the sand dunes.

On my way down there I was somewhat annoyed that I hadn't changed clothes into something, I admit more stereotypical, to get myself in the mood, haha (Nothing like a black dress or something bohemian looking to set the mood.). But when I got there it didn't matter to me much anymore. There I was, in my old, black, ripped shirt with a pink skull on it and my only clean pair of pants that day. My yellow pajama bottoms with daisies on them in the sand communing with the Gods, nature and myself. And it seemed so perfect that looking back I'm glad I didn't change it.

It was so peaceful there and that peace followed me home. I think my money situation will be ok as long as I stay smart and budget correctly and pick up extra hours. I'm glad I took one last drive.

3 comments:

  1. wow. you sure know how to make peace with yourself. Loved the way you went by yourself to the beach to have a toast with God. reminds me it has been so long since I enjoyed a trip down to the beach...
    I really hope you will stay well ahead of money troubles, and I hope everything works out smoothly!

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  2. That sounds so cool and spiritual. Really nice. Forgot to ask where in North Carolina you're moving to, and why November?

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  3. I love a good ritual. Thanks for sharing yours with us!

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