Friday, May 29, 2009

My Last Hurrah

Mondays are boring. My brain just shuts down on them. I can never think of anything to do and never have anything to do, besides Girl scouts, but the kids had off school last Monday and subsequently there was no Girl scouts.

Last Monday the 25th I drove to Betterton Beach in the middle of the night. I never noticed how quiet a beach can be.

There must have been something, even subconsciously on my mind, because I could totally hear the waves saying Calm down.....Calm down.....Calm down.... each time they broke over the shore.

I am kind of getting screwed over in hours at my work, so I'm having to budget each and every paycheck so that I have enough money for car insurance and car payments and to save so I can move to North Carolina at the end of November. Yesterday I had enough money to go onto one more fuck it drive. So I decided to make it a good one and actually do something. I decided to go back to Betterton at night and do a ritual.

It has been a while since I did any rituals or spells. So I packed my bottle of Merlot and a glass and corkscrew and took 20 bucks and drove. When I got there all my anxieties and worries went away with the waves sound. I made sacred space and sacrificed a glass of Merlot to the roman God of the sea Neptune. It was there I looked out to the water and wished for health, prosperity and safety for myself, friends and family.

Then when the ritual was done I sat on a bench near the boardwalk and drank a glass to Him. I had to laugh because as quiet and lonely as the beach was, for a while I got scared because I kept hearing a squeaking noise. Then I figured out it was the little mice (or possibly cute sounding rats) under the walk and in the sand dunes.

On my way down there I was somewhat annoyed that I hadn't changed clothes into something, I admit more stereotypical, to get myself in the mood, haha (Nothing like a black dress or something bohemian looking to set the mood.). But when I got there it didn't matter to me much anymore. There I was, in my old, black, ripped shirt with a pink skull on it and my only clean pair of pants that day. My yellow pajama bottoms with daisies on them in the sand communing with the Gods, nature and myself. And it seemed so perfect that looking back I'm glad I didn't change it.

It was so peaceful there and that peace followed me home. I think my money situation will be ok as long as I stay smart and budget correctly and pick up extra hours. I'm glad I took one last drive.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

What's Holding You Back?

I've been wondering about this question for a while now.

I love comedy. It's a large thing in my life. Comedy Central is my favorite station, comedy is my ice breaker, the comics I'm working on are actually comedic and not dramatic or anything like that and it's my defense mechanism.

It's kind of to have defense mechanisms, especially when you do nothing but joke and giggle about completely inappropriate shit, but I can't help it. It's gotten me through life intact.

Besides being a graphic novelist, doing stand up is one of my biggest dreams in life. I love to make people laugh, especially to the point where they're crying. That's my favorite kind of laughter. That side-aching, uncontrollable laughter where you can hardly breathe and you don't care that you're snort-giggling. The kind of bent over laughter where you have completely lost all sense of shame and you don't care what you sound like or what others think of you.

But I can never seem to get myself to go up on stage. I think it stems from my experience in my high school talent show. I had worked for about two weeks on a set with help from my theater arts teacher. I got on stage and completely killed. Because of the lights I couldn't see their faces But I could hear their laughter and it made me so proud and happy to know that it was me eliciting this response.

When I got off stage to take my seat, I was still getting applause and kudos by the people there until I sat down. For about a week people I didn't even know were coming up to me in the hallway to tell me how funny I was.

Now I know you're wondering. How could that discourage someone from trying to do stand up?

About three nights after the talent show I was watching stand up by Kevin James. His performance 'Sweat The Small Stuff'. He got to his piece about waiting in line to order food and that's when i realized that his exact piece and even his actions mirrored the one I did on stage. I had accidentally stolen his material! I was so embarrassed that I started crying right there in my room.

I felt so guilty and so ashamed. I started to wonder if any of my other jokes had been gleaned from anywhere else, or was that bit just an accidental fluke? I am a Kevin James fan and hey, shit happens.

But now I find that when I've come up with a set I like and am ready to take to some amateur night, I begin to doubt and fret. Are these jokes truly original? Are they good enough? What if I bomb? And then instead of manning up, I don't go.

I've been thinking though, and there have been at least two or three separate occasions where I have made a joke about something; a week later I'll be watching a new episode of a show or a new (emphasis on that word there.) special on Comedy Central that a comic is doing and there will be my joke. I'm starting to wonder if some jokes are kind of just cluster fucks to see who is ballsy enough to tell them, or who can get to them first.

Maybe I should just do the exact opposite of Kevin's special and not sweat the small stuff. Besides if I don't try I can't improve, and I'll never learn or know.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Nice, Tea And A Little Bit Of Me

Found a really neat website, well two actually. First is Operation Nice created to remind us that a little nice goes a long way. A very neat website and a very novel idea. It seems more and more these days that we could all use with being nicer just for the hell of it. So visit her blog and add her button to your site and spread the word of nice.

Second site is Modern Day Pioneers who has this 'A Little Me' thing going on. Seems that the author of the blog has made tons of crafts with no place to keep them, so if you go there and e-mail her with your name and address she will send you one and list your site on hers. I can't wait for mine, I wonder what it will be.

I am in love with this tea I bought from North East, this weird village over the Hatem Bridge (I'm starting to think that anyplace worth going is over the Hatem Bridge.). It has a couple of really neat shops with a great small town feel. One of the stores is this place that sells loose leaf teas and coffees, pasta, ready to make soups and bread mixes and all kinds of neat things. I bought this tea called Cherry Moon Tea made by the Eastern Shore Tea Co. You can buy it online here. It's a great mix of green tea, cherry flavors and some orange as well. I'm starting to really like tea without sugar, I'm finding that the sugar covers up the actual flavor of the tea to me. It also comes with a reusable tea bag, a little drawstring pouch made of cheese cloth. Such a neat and Eco friendly idea.

Speaking of Eco friendly, has anyone seen the commercial for those stupid prunes that are individually wrapped? Prunes being in their own wrapper is actually part of the marketing ploy it seems. Why not just stick them in a box and call it done.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Dogs And Bentos

There has got to be a better way to wash a dog than tieing the leash to the porch and squirting the hell out of the animal. My dog Chewie freaks when he's near water, I don't know why. The quick squirting method is the easiest way. The siblings have tried the bathtub and trying to be sweet and calm and he completely flips. I think I'm going to have to find a website that can help me or ....something.

My sister was saying something about taking him to a groomers but he's a short haired dog and who has that kind of money now a days? Also I think it's a little bit pathetic to sedate a dog every single time he needs a bath. Then again I don't like seeing him get so scared he's choking himself with his collar in an attempt to get away either.

What's weird is I also don't remember him having a bad time with baths when he was a little puppy. He loved them. Maybe next time we should try the bathtub thing again, only this time I'm going to see what exactly the siblings are doing to get him clean. They could be doing something that freaks him out.

I am so happy today. I'm bringing my bento box to work. And I've tried my hand at a little beginners bento art. Nothing big or fancy, but my hot dog now resembles two little octopus. For anyone confused a bento box is a Japanese lunch box. I need to start bringing my lunch to work more often and disregarding the take out. Just so not healthy. I am also intrigued by bento art. It's so neat! I want to get better so I can make all the weird things I've seen like the rice balls made to look like pandas and such. I also need a digicam as I've said before. But this is the bento I have.

Yeah, I should probably turn in my goth card after buying this, but I just couldn't resist it.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

So, Should We Give Your Son A Cookie Then?

Today was a good day, full of no headaches or wtf!? moments. Me and my pregnant friend Penny went to the mall and I got a red bean bubble tea (nice and sweet taste. Very good btw).

Then I got home and read this article in The Sun.,0,2683888.story

The Baltimore public school system is now getting to the point where they are enforcing zero tolerance and making expulsions for things like arson and violent behavior and such, forever. As in do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars; you're out of the game and out of the school dearies.

I for one am standing behind the schools on this one. For a while now Baltimore's schools and their children have been going back and forth and playing the 'Who's Got The Bigger Dick?' game. A majority of the time it seems the kids win. Kudos to the schools for growing an inch or two and learning how to play the game. It also seems to be working for them with cases of arson in city schools being halved compared to how many there were last year.

Maybe the kids that attend Baltimore's schools will now see how serious the consequences to their actions are and think before they potentially throw their education down the drain.

Of course the parents are up in arms about their kid not receiving an education. Many don't think it's fair to permanently expel a kid. But is it fair to have a kid that has violent tendencies ruining somebody else's education by causing fights in the classroom; or assaulting teachers. Even the stress of being violently bullied by someone can affect how they learn. Why should they have to suffer because somebody wants to act like an idiot. Also, why should your moron child be given a second chance to do the same thing? The 16 year old subject of the paper's article lit a poster and a trashcan on fire with his friend to get out of school. He potentially put people in get out of school.

If you want to get out of school that damn badly, fake being sick, or just walk out when no one's looking. Trust me, it's not that damn hard. He completely deserves this expulsion. It's time for Baltimore to stop giving slaps on the wrists and start handing out boots to the asses for arson and violent offenses.

Our schools seemed to have stumbled upon a good idea. I hope they stick with it to give the children that actually want to be in schools a chance to learn there safely.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Oh The Pieces

I think I've just lost my appetite for Reese's Pieces forever. Which sucks they're an awesome candy. I had them in my glove box for the past week or so and it has been hot pretty often, especially in that damn oven of a car.

Opened them up to eat them today and found my hands getting oddly oily, then saw this weird white stuff making the pieces stick to each other. Figured out that said white stuff was fat. Apparently they sweat fat when they're hot? I don't know, I just know it felt and looked like little globules of fat making my pieces stick together and my hands oily. So gross.

Hmmm....forgot what else I was going to blog about....oh well, I'll figure it out.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

In Which I Am Extremely Proud Of Myself

Sometimes I think that if one book could sum up my life it would be Dr.Seuss' 'Because A Little Bug Went Ker-choo.'

For instance, last Thursday I got into a screaming fight with my mom that started about factors. Yes, as in the math problem random person reading my blog entry who is also a very mathematically inclined thinker. She kicked me out for the night....or really she told me to leave and then made no move to actually kick me out and I left in a huff.

Pissed off I drove to my Aunt's house all the way in Galena and spent the night there while my younger cousin laughed at me because I am an idiot that got kicked out for fighting about factors. The next day I spend time with my cousin and then visit my grandma and everything is going fine, I even get some roses to give to my mom. Then I get near the Hatem Bridge which is now closed off. I stop at the Royal Farms and fill up my tank, get directions to I-95 (retrospect: always get double opinions on directions and be specific with questions.), call my mom to ask which exit to get off of on said 95.

And here's where the fun starts. I leave at 9:30 don't get back home to Baltimore until 2am. The woman I asked was correct, the road she showed me did indeed go to 95. However, it also conjoined at some point with 495 which is the Delaware Turnpike. I pay the 4 dollar toll fee and am now trying to ward off panic as I try to remember just where did I get off of here last time. Then I do remember...that I was in a car with friends and their Tom Tom, so we weren't really worried about paying attention. Apparently 495 diverges at some point with 95 south to Baltimore going left and north going right. I accidentally get off on the right side hoping for another exit for south along the way. Halfway through driving through Philadelphia panic finally sets in....on a bridge in the middle of a turn going 65 miles per hour trying to keep pace with traffic but not speed because I left my wallet at home with all my i.d. and all because a little bug spotted a sign saying something about a tunnel and 95 ending in so many miles.

I have a Greyhound on my ass and am now crying hysterically because I don't want to go through a tunnel and leave 95, have no clue where I am and am driving one handed because I can't stop chewing on my other hand's thumb (plus note: I'm really good at driving one handed apparently.). That's right, Adorably's Magical Lost Tour 2009, crying hysterically in a car next to you soon!

I am now entering New Jersey (just in case you needed a little picture inside your head, Chestertown is about 75 miles from Baltimore give or take whichever direction you're coming from. New Jersey is 150.) and my tank is almost half gone, 95 is going to end apparently in so many less miles then it said it would when I was driving through Philly. I'm fed up and just said fuck it and started looking for some sort of exit where I could find help. Finally! I see a south exit for a 24 hour Exxon station. At least I'm going to be headed in the right direction when I ask for directions. As soon as I get off that exit, what lays right before me? Another exit for south 95.

Fuck Exxon, I'm taking the damn exit and this tank better last me.

I get back to the Delaware toll and pay yet another 4 dollars and am told I am on the right way to Baltimore. About a mile down the road I see a sign that lists Baltimore as 67 miles away. I am so tired and worn out by this time I literally look at myself in the mirror and say out loud "Better get comfy, it looks like we're in for a long ride." and then crank my radio as high as it will go.

Now I say I am proud of myself because, yes I got lost like the blond ditz I am, but I got home by myself relying on no one but myself. For someone that gets confused by written directions and sometimes takes wrong turns even with a friends Tom Tom, this is a very major accomplishment for me.

And the moral of the story is kiddies: Never leave home without your wallet and fucking pay attention.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Really Now?

Just thought this article was funny. I understand what they're trying to do and for the other drugs like Lipitor for people with high cholesterol....or low? I can't remember, any who, for people that need that drug this is great; but offering free Viagra to jobless people? Do they really need a chance at getting pregnant (because nothing except abstinence is 100 percent and condoms have broken before.) when there is no money coming in?

Then again, if you can't work.....might as well do something else before depression kicks in, haha!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

So Unfunny Even A Nine Year Old Can Tell

I actually happen to like Dane Cook. My cousin constantly complains that the only reason I and every other woman like him is because he's good looking, or at least we think so (I do happen to think so and it's honestly just a plus). His movies do suck though...well except for Waiting. But that movie is just an epic win all around.

I was watching the Dane Cook special Rough Around The Edges and my nine year old brother sits next to me. One minute into watching he turns to me and just goes, "I just don't get why he's funny.", then turns the TV to King of the Hill.

I love my little buddy so much sometimes.

And They Call Me The Satanist!

I just really find Christianity funny sometimes. My mom will most likely never accept my paganism and always turn somewhat of a blind eye to it or regard it as a phase. Fine, whatever I've accepted it.

Today her and my Step dad were discussing whether or not to bury this little statue of St.Joseph (I think) on the property of our house in Jarrettsville that they're trying to sell. I asked why and was told that apparently doing that will entice buyers to look at the house and for it to sell quickly.

I had to fight the urge to just jump up and yell 'Witchcraft! You're doing witchcraft!' But of course since it's with the Christian pantheon it's different...I don't know why.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Just Back From Camp

So tired, but I did promise a mud crunch recipe in the last blog.

Easiest recipe you'll ever hear and our girls love the crap.

In a big pot melt a cup of peanut butter, a bag of butterscotch chips and half a bag of chocolate chips. Melt it till it's all nice and gooey then remove from heat and add a whole box of chex cereal. Stir until it's all coated evenly and let it cool, then add the other half of bag chocolate chips and freeze or refrigerate.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Of Girlscouts And Dead Celebrities

Gods I am so damn iffy about this weekend. I love my girls but not quite looking forward to a weekend of camping with not only the cadets and seniors but also my friend and fellow leader is bringing her junior troop along. We've already had to specifically warn our older girls to not cuss or talk about inappropriate topics especially since we have 3 parents of the youngins coming along. And they were not pleased. That's right, they actually kind of got an attitude about it.

I don't know, maybe if we make some Mud Crunch they'll all shut up, haha. (If you're wondering what that is, a recipe will follow sometime later).

Don't get me wrong, they're not a bad troop at all. They're very good, if opinionated girls. But if current annoyed attitudes and rainy weathers persist, this may not be the most fun camping trip. We're sleeping in yurts this time. As long as it's not open air platform tents I'm fine. Found many wolf spiders in the first one we tried to sleep in. And of course we can't kill them because "we're out in nature and we have to respect it."

I hope it stops raining soon, or else they're going to have to do all their stuff here's to sunshine and no cabin fever!

Also yesterday...or maybe it was this morning, Dom DeLuise died at age 75. Totally sucks, he was awesome and a great actor. At least he went in his sleep though. I'm not sure how I'd like to die, but sleeping is one of my top picks. I just realized that's a very weird thought. But we will all die one day, I'm just saying if I had to pick how to do it, I think in my sleep, surrounded by loved ones is definitely how I would like to go.

This just reminded me I've been meaning for a year or more to buy one of his cookbooks. How can you not like a cookbook with the title 'Eat this- It will make you feel better!'?

Rest in peace Mr.DeLuise.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Glory Of Myspace

Myspace, unlike your alcoholic father, doesn't always disappoint. Especially not with a vaguely transylvanian/Jewish sounding funny vampire man who plays a 'sqveezebox' (read: accordion).

I think Zombie and Transylbearian Woods are now my new favorite songs. Apparently Count Smokula has also been around for a few. ..the rock I live under is very comfterable.

Here is his music video for 'Zombie' from Youtube. Something this campy and cheesy can't possibly be bad.

(Is it just me or does anyone else have problems getting youtube videos to embed on thier blogs?)

Sunday, May 3, 2009

I Got's A Camera!

Although it is a throw away one but....oh well. I'm trying to take as many pictures as I can so I can get them developed....and then the blog entry of many pictures!

Oy vay, there has been so much drama here. I swear I have to get out of Baltimore. Alright, I have to get skedaddling. Not quite sure why I just blogged a paragraph instead of waiting until I can write more tonight but.....oh well.