Saturday, December 18, 2010

Quite Puzzling

Working at an answering service you get used to the fact that sometimes you're going to get very crazy calls; especially when you answer for therapists. I remember one day I had just finished an overnight shift and was taking my last call of the day. It was from an extremely angry woman calling her M.D. Because he hadn't called her in over a week on an important manner. I looked through our records looking for any messages of hers and told her we didn't have any of her calls did she get the office when she called. The next moment was a complete facepalm moment.

"No I didn't call the office. I left him four messages in the brain of the universe and I want to know why he hasn't returned any of my damn calls. This is important!" I wanted so badly to tell her the Doctor doesn't check the brain of the universe on weekdays.

But for weirdness and the sense of curiosity it leaves me with, the call my co-worker took today takes the cake. I was giving out a death call for one of our funeral homes and when I was done, saw there was a message that had been saved. It was from a woman that worked in a funeral home and wanted to leave a message for the director. All it said, other than her name and number was, "She is safe when the dead stays dead.", and that was all. Refused any other information and hung up.

There are so many questions I was left with. It was like a written version of Lewis Black's horse joke. Never in my three years of working here have I so badly wanted to call someone back and just ask..."Sooo.. What happened? And should I or should I not start preparing for the impending zombie apocalypse?"

I mean, was it an inside joke between funeral directors? When I asked my co-worker the way she said it sounded like she was serious. So what the hell happened, what did she see? Was that like some sort of job resignation? I guess this is what I get for being snoopy.


  1. The brain of the universe?! What planet does she live in? And I can't believe she really believed that! Amazing...I need to "meet" more kooky ppl in my life.

  2. Yeah, I was telling another co-worker of mine and apparently she's just some crazy person that semi-stalks a certain funeral director who happens to be the one we answer for...on both accounts. Lol. I was very disappointed. I was hoping it was something weirder than that.


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