Dear Adrianne Curry,
I'll make this short and sweet.
I don't watch America's Next Top Model, but ever since I saw you on The Surreal Life on VH1, I know why you won it. No offense, but I'm surprised that your marriage to Mr.Knight lasted five years. Nothing really against you, but one doesn't have to watch either The Surreal Life or My Fair Brady to know you're crazy. You don't have so much of the crazy eyes as you have the crazy face. You're like a crazy quick bread with an insanity glaze on top.
But that's OK, because you're super hot, love Star Wars and like to cosplay....and I'm also odd and possibly insane. If past relationships and my intense love of Marvel character Deadpool tend to prove anything; I like to stick it in the crazy.
I just wanted to let you know that if that Brady bastard actually goes and divorces you, that I am here for you....and all your rebound needs. I'm just going to let you know ahead of time that I will require you to dress like slave Leia on at least two separate occasions.
P.S. Dear Adam Richman and MC Frontalot, this doesn't mean I'm not still gunning for you. I wouldn't get rid of those restraining orders just yet.