Now that I have my own laptop netbook, hereby nicknamed Tinytop, I’ve been writing again. It’s just so much easier when I have a computer, I suck at writing long hand. I just can’t seem to write quicker than the words come and by the time I’m finished one sentence I’ve forgotten the others.
I’m working on editing a one shot story I wrote at work about a year ago. It’s a short story about addiction. I’ve written it all in cursive which kind of sucks because I can write quicker in cursive, but the more excited I get about something, the quicker I write the more illegible it gets.
Cue me spending ten minutes trying to decode a single word. Pain in the ass.
I’ve also almost forgotten what it’s like to write. And I’m not talking about these blog entries I do, I mean actually write stories. For some reason for me it’s a kind of different feeling between writing the two. I think it’s because the other is more creative and shows more of you, lays you out on the table in a different way than writing a blog can.
Sometimes they feel the same, but writing poems and stories to me, especially when they’re unedited or unfinished, is like slowly undressing in front of someone and saying, “I’ve got something to show you.” It makes me kind of paranoid like I want to look behind me to make sure no one is reading what I’m writing even though a wall is at my back. Then again I also sometimes get scared that someone has put cameras in my house (I know they haven’t actually done so, I know I’m just being silly, it’s just a stupid thought I sometimes entertain that creeps me out.), but still.
It sometimes makes me feel jittery and elated and excited and alert, and it drains me. Sometimes all at the same time.
And it feels great.
Does anyone else get this way?
This made sense right?
Oh and by the by, I hope you all stay safe with Irene coming full swing at you fellow East Coasters.