Saturday, September 17, 2011

I'm So Confused

I have no clue what I believe in anymore. I don’t know if I believe in God or Gods or if I don’t. I feel so abandoned by my faith. I just don’t feel that connection anymore with The All like I used to. I haven’t even done any type of rituals or spells either because I don’t know what the point is or if they’ll work. I don’t really pray anymore because I don’t know who to pray to and I don’t celebrate any of the Pagan holidays because it feels like it’s just lip service.

I don’t think I’m an atheist though, I just don’t know how to get that connection back, or what I really believe in and I don’t know where to start looking for it.

I feel so alone in the spiritual sense. It makes me really sad, I don’t feel like the Gods care about me anymore, everything’s just gone. I don’t really know what to do. I keep telling people I’m a Pagan still because the truth is just too complicated to explain.

It’s been like this for a while now. I was looking for signs to lead me in the correct direction to find my spirituality again, but….it just seems like they’ve stopped and I don’t know where to go from here.

Has anyone ever had a crisis of faith before? What the hell did you do?

I can’t help but think that if I was a Christian this might be easier, ha ha.

4 comments:

  1. You can't grow without a crisis or so I've been told. Put your energy elsewhere for a while and things will work themselves out. I think we've all been where you are. Practice altruism.
    Peace!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Speaking as a Christian, I can tell you it's not easier. I've seen incredible miracles, had my life saved in ways that could only be through divine intervention, but I still have moments of doubt. I walked away from my faith for a couple years. I looked into every religion and practice. For me, my choice to believe in the one God I do is not just one of faith but a conscious and logical decision. Obviously I can't tell you what to believe but I can tell you that my God is real, and he does reveal himself to those who seek him. And if you ever want to discuss religion or anything else, my email should be in my profile.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Bob - Good idea.

    TS - I think I shall take you up on that talk. I think I'm also going to e-mail a friend of mine who converted to atheism and then converted back to Paganism. I never did ask her how or why she did, perhaps this is the time to. :p

    ReplyDelete
  4. I second that on altruism -- certainly can't hurt! A journal tailored to this might help: for every mindful act of good will, write a corresponding gratitude. Maybe also meditiation, or yoga, or prayer, some investigation, trial and error. Keep seeking, something'll open up for you ;->

    ReplyDelete

I wish my comment form was shiny.