Saturday, December 10, 2011

Art Cars And Moral High Grounds

I went to Trader Joe's this afternoon. I have really got to remember to stop going places on Fridays...and during Christmas shopping days. It took me almost an hour to find a spot to park, mainly because I'm a pussy about taking parking spots. "Hey! I've been waiting here for that spot and you're just going to take it!...Oh then...OK..."

Finally got my jar of coconut oil. I cannot wait to use it. Mainly because my 10 dollar hair pomade has been used up and this is way cheaper and much nicer smelling. Yes, you read that right, I shall not be cooking with this...well maybe I will actually...but for all the curly headed peeps out there, coconut oil is so good for keeping down frizz and making hair manageable and soft. I've always wanted to try it and then forgot about it until my friend JessJess bought it for the same reason.

I also learned how Brussels sprouts grow today.

The general consensus among my siblings is that is looks like a bunch of weird grapes.

On my way out I saw my first art car. It was parked next to me and at first I thought that someone had just gotten their car trashed by assholes with spray paint. Then I noticed it was the whole car and deliberate.

And the side view:

I actually think it looks pretty neat. I wish I could have met the car's owner to find out if it was for some sort of college project or what.

A couple of days ago I tweeted that I accidentally went full retard on someone. They wrote a post about how you can't be moral and be against gay marriage at the same time. For some reason I felt the need to ask this person out of "internet courtesy" to put it on my blog and offered to link to them if they had a site and wanted me to. Then I woke up the next day and realized why I should probably start going to bed sometime before 4am. But at least my idiocy was polite...I was a gentleman's retard if you will.

He titled it:
No, I'm Sorry, You Don't Get To Take A Stance Against Gay Rights And Consider Yourself A Good Person.

"There are so many people out there who "Voted yes on 8" or "Believe in the Sanctity of Marriage" but are otherwise considered "moral" people. They are kind, they help others, They are good to their friends and family, but they believe that gays shouldn't have equal rights. We see this so commonly in neighbors, friends, and co-workers, and I've heard it all, from "Oh but he's a great guy," to, "No, it's just the way she was raised."

I couldn't GIVE A FUCK.

For those of us on the correct side of this fence, fair and equal rights for gays is something that is SO OBVIOUSLY the right thing to do, it's difficult for us to even comprehend the layers of bigotry that are required to demean and insult a fellow moral human being so completely and thoroughly. It's something that I find difficult to put into words, but as a straight male quite heavily surrounded in the gay community, it is one of the issues I am most passionate about. By saying you are against gay marriage, you are saying that you think your stupid title will somehow mean more if you tell others they don't have the right to have it. If I want a fucking pizza, and I don't want pepperoni, I order a pizza without pepperoni, but I don't try to BAN pepperoni because it's "not my thing."

This is something that I think people hear about and if the rest of some one's moral character checks out, their willing to sweep the "anti-gay" thing under the rug. Well enough is enough. When you are voting no on gay rights you are sending a message of hatred that says the person that this person loves is wrong, incorrect, unnatural. YOU are the reason so many teens contemplate suicide, and YOU are taking part in the ignorant social devolution of mankind. I don't care who you are and I don't care about your reasons for your stance, it's wrong, it's obviously insulting and inhuman, and you should be ashamed to think that you can live your life knowing your condemning a lifestyle that you couldn't even begin to understand.

Homophobia and I have a zero tolerance policy, due partially to the fact that I went through a youth of minor religious homophobia. I never gay bashed or thought gays shouldn't have equal rights, but I did think the practice was wrong. It is to this day one of the periods of my life I'm most ashamed of. To imagine that I thought my fellow person was lesser because of who they love is horrible.

It's time we stopped giving this issue a free pass and call it what it is, pure, inane, childish, ignorant bigotry. Sorry if this came off as strong, but as a passionate person living in a conservative town, (When I'm at home. When I'm at college I live in Mt. Vernon, a gay district, and it's simply lovely) It's something that has really got to me. I don't give a fuck about your convictions, your excuses, or your misinformed defenses, you are being ignorant and insulting, and should feel ashamed of yourself."

Even though I personally do not fully agree with his opinion, I love this post for the questions and potential discussions that it brings up. Can you be against gay rights, which is a civil rights issue, and still consider yourself a good or moral person?

I actually think you can. Not all people who are against giving gays the right to marry hate gays, or have a problem with them. To some of them it goes against their religious beliefs. Case in point, I have a family member on the step side. All of these people are Catholics and said family member doesn't believe in gay marriage. Actually I don't believe a lot of people on the step side believe in gay marriage. She is a wonderful person in all other aspects. Great mother, friendly, she doesn't bash gays or anything like that; she just doesn't believe they should be able to get married.

I think it is too easy to try and villianize the people that are against us and cry homophobia at every turn where, in some cases, I believe it just doesn't apply. Even though it constantly boggles my mind and makes no sense to be against something that so obviously should be available, it doesn't automatically make you a bad person in my eyes.

Uneducated, maybe. More than a little fucking stupid, yes. A hypocrite if you think blacks or any other minority should have equal rights except for queers, definitely. But a bad person? Perhaps not.

I think this post also brings up to question, can any of us claim the moral high ground ever?

When I wrote a reply stating that while I understood the poster's anger, I thought he was looking at things too simply. Life is not so black and white, instead it is very, very nauseatingly shitty shades of grey. Of course I was mainly lambasted for this opinion. One person told me that it was black and white and not a grey area like abortion.

But is it? There is no doubt in my mind that someone who is vehemently against abortion could write a similar post ("No! You can not kill babies and still think of yourself as a good or moral person!"). To some pro-lifers it is very black and white and there are no grey areas. So too could someone that is vegan claim the same about someone that does eat meat. There are too many variations of this based on our belief systems and opinions on certain subjects and I'm not going to delve into all of them; but you get my point.

So what do you think? Can you be against marriage equality and still be considered a good person?


  1. You are quite vocal on the rights and treatment of members of the LGBT community, yet I noticed that you used the word "retard" several times in your post. As a professional and parent of a person with a developmental disability, I find this just as offensive as you found the post on gay rights. I can't tell you how hurtful this word is to folks with developmental disabilities, whether used in regards to themselves or as a pejorative. When you wrote you went "full retard" or were a "gentleman's retard", I just had to stop reading - it hurt too much.

    Adlpated from Swap-Bot (Gain Readers and Comments) I must say I will not be an on-going reader. You're entitled to your opinions, but I got you as a swap partner, and wanted to share how much these comments might hurt those who overhear you if you also *say* them as well as write them.

  2. I believe in equal rights but not special rights. We are all equal, gay or not, I am not and don't care if you are or not.

    On the other hand, I love that car, what a great find!!!
    see you on SB!
    Candace - knclodge
    (SB - gain blog readers and comments swap)

  3. No one is perfect, so I don't know if anyone should be claiming the "moral high ground". I don't think anyone can be against civil rights and still think that they hold the superior position because if you are against any type of civil rights, you are somehow saying, "I am better than 'them'."

    No matter what a person's religious beliefs, most religions are against self-centered behavior, against hate and most religions believe in some formulation of the golden rule. Besides, don't we still have separation of church and state in this country!? Should we be making LAWS based on whether or not it agrees with our RELIGION??? I don't think we should.

    You really should remove your use of the term "retard" because it makes your writing way less powerful and distracts readers from your point. It's plainly offensive. It's the same as people who use "gay" as an adjective to describe something they don't like.

    -hollychihuahua from Gain Blog Readers on S-B

  4. Adventures - Nowhere in my post did I say or mean to imply that I found the gay rights post offensive. I just said that my opinions differ from thier's. It is too bad that you misconstrued my words. Their intent certainly was not to harm. I quoted the movie Tropic Thunder and the second sentence was a throwback joke to the movie quote. Nowhere was I talking about people with actual disabilities. I was taking the piss out on myself as I am very prone to do.

    It is fine you will not be following my blog, you are very well within your rights to hit the x button at the corner of your screen and leave. To be honest, I am very vulgar and blunt, I have a sense of humor that is sometimes horrible, perverse and well as being normal on occasion. The fact that you can only focus on two throwaway sentences out of a post of 16 (yes I counted) paragraphs that have nothing to do with it tells me that I most likely would have offended you sooner or later down the road by something arbitrary that I would have written or shown on my blog.

    In all the years I have had this blog I have never written or called something retarded. It's just not a word I use often if at all to the point that it is almost non existant in my vocabulary. I understand that this may be (rightfully so) a sore spot for you and that you found my joke highly offensive and maybe if our roles were reversed, I would think so too. But it's not, and I just don't see it the same way you do.

    knclodge - Your comment wording is slightly confusing, lol, But I think I get what you mean. :p

    Lola - I completely agree with the first part of your comment on the actual topic of the blog post.

    Unfortunately, I do not agree with you for the second part. To me it is not offensive to quote a movie and make fun of myself in the context of the movie quote. I also, despite being gay, do not find it offensive to call things gay as a synonym for stupid or lame. To me it is more about the intent behind the word than it is the word itself and the word's meaning.

    I also have friends (also gay) that use the word gay in that context as well. Perhaps it is because we are young, but that is just how we see it and unless someone is bullying and harrassing somebody else and using the word to cause harm and inflict trauma...we do not have a problem with it.

    It is however a huge pity that the comment sections seems to have gotten so derailed from the original topic of the article. I can only hope that my responses have shed more light on my intentions in using that quote and word and will help get it back on track instead of being focused on two throwaway sentences that have nothing to do with the article.

  5. I think I might like your blog, you sound a very open and honest person, and quite frankly they are traits I like in people.

    I also see you are on hmmm. Might have to follow once I have read all these lovely new blogs, and once I have found out who you are (I am @smilernpb)!

    I too am that kind of driver, by the way. I hate parking at the best of times, let alone in the run up to Christmas....! :o(

    Gain Blog Readers and Comments - smilernpb

  6. First of all, that car is simply awesome!! It is great having such "movable" art around.

    Also, I think that being gay is a choice, and it does not lower one's moral values if the person chooses to be gay. And thus, we should not be judging people based on their sexual orientation.

    mag // Gain Blog Readers and Comments

  7. I tried reading some of your posts -frankly you try too hard .AS the niece of a downs syndrome man I abhor your use of the word retard and I don't give a damn what excuses you use YOU ARE WRONG( blackbird 4 gain blog readers and c )

  8. Very cool car! It would have been cool to talk to the owner and learn the story behind the car.

    Ilona @ swap bot

  9. smiler- Thank you! I think I have to get more aggressive in taking spaces, but people are crazy! Especially around the holidays.

    maggie - I am glad you agree.

    Pat- See my reply to Adventures. Everything in there applies to you. I do not understand what you mean by 'you are trying too hard'. I am myself in this blog. I am trying at nothing...what is there to try about when you keep things honest?

    Ilona- I should have stayed, but I didn't know when they would have been back. ;_; Sucks like hell!

  10. I recently saw a blog post touting the benifits of Coconut Oil, and wanted to try it. I didn't think about picking it up at TJs. Super.
    Glory (Sauterelle) from Swapbot

  11. Glory- I never see coconut oil anywhere else. Perhaps I'm not looking for it correctly in other stores. But from what I've seen online TJ's is the cheapest by far.

  12. Great post... all of it!

    The gay rights issue... I'll admit, I never thought about it in the black and white terms. But then, I don't think of ANYTHING in black and white terms. Everything can have a shade of grey. While I may not agree with people who think that gays should not have the right to marry, I vehemently agree with their right to believe so. Their belief doesn't make them good or bad - it's what they do with that, and other, beliefs. If they use their belief that gays shouldn't marry as a stepping stone to then beat/maim/kill gays, then they are a bad person. But if they live and let live... there is no harm in that.

    Sounds like you and I are on the same side of the fence on this one. (And, I suspect, many others.) I'm going to love keeping up with your blog!

    -- Amber (PisceanMama for the Gain Blog Readers on Swap-Bot)

  13. Hello! I'm your partner for Gain Blog Readers and Comments. That car.. hahaha. I hate brussel sprouts! My dad loves them and it always made the house stink!

  14. interesting blog. im going to have to come back and read it some more.

    Gain Blog Readers and Comments - bluecrayons

  15. so i'm wondering whats wrong with people. do they not know how to use a dictionary? retarded means backwards, handicapped, hindered, slowed. using it incontext is in no way offensive. People's fear of language and sensorship is a horrible problem we face in this country. We have to make up new words that dont have the same meaning because we are afraid to use the correct language. did you know that people are so afraid of the word retard they are removing it from a diagnosis, and calling mental retardation intellectual delay? THEY DONT EVEN MEAN THE SAME THING!

    also downs is NOT mental retardation, so i'm not sure why you would be offended.

    Thank you AD. For knowing what a dictionary is.

  16. 3 Studies SHOW Why Coconut Oil Kills Fat.

    The meaning of this is that you literally burn fat by eating coconut fats (in addition to coconut milk, coconut cream and coconut oil).

    These 3 studies from big medicinal magazines are sure to turn the conventional nutrition world upside down!


I wish my comment form was shiny.