Monday, December 19, 2011

Six More Days 'Til The Holly King

Well, actually since Yule is tomorrow, it's really one more day and yes I know I'm talking about Christmas in Pagan terms...shut up and roll with it. I absolutely forgot what the fuck I was originally going to blog about. I know it had to tie into holiday consumerism but, oh well. Instead since I have no true topic, I'm just going to list random thoughts that I've been pondering and have popped into my head. Hopefully you've been thinking of these as well so I'll feel like less of a freak.

What do blind people see?
Alright, I know what you're thinking, "Addy, that's so stupid, they're blind obviously they don't see anything." But how do you know? I know they can't see like we do, but do you think they see a color, or just blackness? They wouldn't be able to tell us because they can't see.

Think of what I'm asking this way. Say you were blind and all you saw was the color red. Obviously because you're blind, you're not seeing jack shit except for this color, but you don't know you're seeing the color red because you've never seen it in context. As in, this is an apple, it is red; this is a tree it is not...except when it's fall. So you're seeing a color you just don't know it and can't say, "yes I am definitely seeing a shit load of red." Instead you say, "I can't see I'm blind, duh."

Do you think having a regenerating mermaid as an owner is a cat's biggest fantasy?
I mean really, a big fish that will let you eat them with arms to give you pettings. Oh and there's always more fish because the tail regenerates itself. Pretty good deal if you ask me.

Say you were in an anime and were fighting someone that used sound based attacks and powers. If they sounded like Cyndi Lauper, would you be more or less scared?
I honestly don't know my own answer to this one. I mean I love me some Lauper, but what if she was really into psychological torture and made you listen to an alternating set of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun and She-Bop for like 5 hours.

Is anyone, other than I, really fucking jealous that Jenna Marbles came up with this shit first?

Also I now feel bad for saying Hon'. But in my defense I'm from Baltimore...if you're born here you kind of don't have a choice. Especially if you're from Hampden. I also think this would be a good formula for insults if you went to the negative side of the adjectives. Sweaty-pizza-unicorn sounds like something you'd call a greasy gay gym goer who was full of himself and possibly Italian.

Double wide trailers are like legos for rednecks.
No seriously. I just learned that you have to snap them together and then they just put siding around it. Although as dubious as that sounds, I'd still have to go with a double wide over a single trailer any day. I've been in single trailers before and almost all of them have a floor that is ready to meet the ground at some point.

When are they going to come out with a triple wide?
So if double wides are like the condos of the trailer park, then a triple wide would be like the fucking mansion, right? You'd be like Richie Rich if he were white trash. You could have two lawn sprinklers! Maybe your property would be so big you could talk your significant other into letting you own a riding mower. Albeit a smaller version of one. Shit would be crazy.

Joking aside, I honestly wouldn't mind this because I happen to like double wides.

Does anyone else have trouble getting their nail polish to stay?
I just painted my nails all cute and shit because I'm actually getting into the spirit of Yule/Christmas/Whatever stupid winter season you do or do not celebrate. Thought I'd be all fancy and doll them up a sparkly red with glittery green tips and a little Christmas tree I painted on the ring finger. I did this Saturday. It is now Monday and half the nails have chips and I'm going to have to do it all over again.

I even went the extra mile and used that diamond strength polish that is supposed to make your nails stronger as a top coat. Nothing. It doesn't matter what top coat I've used or not used. So what I'm asking is which one of you chicks out there that actually reads my blog has the magic top coat I haven't used yet? Are there any nail salon owners out there? Because if I get my nails professionally done, it doesn't happen. What the hell is that about?

Does anyone else get the incredible urge to not brush their teeth for a day and then lick Howie Mandel's face?
I have nothing against Mr.Mandel. He's the most awesome germaphobe I know of and brought me tons of joy in my childhood as the voice of Bobby from Bobby's World and as this dude from Little Monsters.

Little Monsters

I absolutely loved Maurice. I always thought that Fred Savage's character made the wrong choice. I would have stayed with my blue buddy....and found the underneath of David Bowie's bed while I was there.

But whenever I see a picture of him, or see him on TV, I kind of want someone to go up to him and pretend to sneeze into their hands and then force him to shake their hand. I have no clue why. Maybe it's the asshole in me, I just would love to see him freak out. It's like if I meet someone that has a thing about everything being nice and straight, I always want to take one of their meticulously lined up things and slant it when they're not looking. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Alright my shiny-twizzler-puppies! I'll see you bitches later. Also sorry if my paragraphs are two tones, my computer is being stupid in conjunction with Blogger and it looks like some paragraphs are black and other's are grey in the preview section.


  1. Reminder to people. The music is all the way at the bottom of the blog and you can turn it off.

  2. -.- All of my hate. The music player.

    Also- I paint my nails, use a drying agent, then a topcoat, another drying agent, another topcoat... yeah. My nails are hard as hell.

  3. Here's to an epic Yule-driven New Year's fueled 2012 ~~ and more to come ~~ cheers, salute, huzzah ~~!

  4. Dylanthulhu - Sorry ^_^. I have eclectic tastes in music. In all honesty I've been meaning to tweak the music player and put it up higher where people can readily see and hit the stop button if they don't like it. It just messes with the way the blog is set up though sometimes. Also, good idea with the nails. I usually only put one thick layer of topcoat on. Maybe that is my problem.

    Erik- Cheers to you as well! :D

  5. so i'm realizing at some point i stopped reading your every post. Now i feel like a bad friend lol. not only for not reading your blogs but because i can't seem to figure out when i stopped reading them! so post something new so i can read that one too!


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