Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Fright Night Remake

I was kicked off the TV earlier this evening because my stepfather needed his half hour of TV time since he had watched none all day (You interrupted my enjoyment of a Bronx Tale for that? You sick son of a bitch, wait until I tell Sonny.).

Trying to find movies online to watch that I had to neither download something for or sign up for, I came across this trailer.



It's scheduled to come out August of this year. Normally I don't do movie reviews. I feel weird because a blogger friend of mine does them, so I leave them to the discerning critiquing of The Non-Review. But I'm a huge fan of the old Fright Nights. Every single, shitty, campy one of them; So of course I rolled my eyes at this one. I mean, another remake, really Hollywood?

But as I watched the trailer my disgust seemed to ebb away more and more. Sure it is a remake, but it seems nothing like the first one. The only thing that it looks like they're re-using are the characters and the scenario of young high schooler notices something strange in his neighborhood (but there's no one to call! Oh noooo!), cue vamps.

It's almost like a fanfiction that asks the question what if the vampire was even more homicidal than usual? And what if he decided to go even more on the offensive than in the first one? Also McLovin and car chases!

I thought I'd hate this, but I'm actually looking forward to it.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

She Is Going To Ruin That Pretty Shirt

So it seems that with blogger's fuck up it has either re posted or deleted everyone's last post on their blog. Yay, I get to rewrite everything I've written again, thankfully it was a tiny blog post.

I was checking out My Food Looks Funny and noticed two pictures that were being compared because they looked similar. However one of them absolutely repulsed me while I was entranced by the other. I have no clue why also.



And then the other one



You'd think it would be the second one that would make my stomach churn, but it wasn't, it was the first. Despite the fact that Bjork looks like she's birthing a Cthulu/Zalgo hybrid out of her mouth, I love it.

I've been mulling it over and I know what's not making me hate the first pic. It's not the amount or the type of food being shown, nor is it the color. It's not even really the way the food is being handled or the fact that she is going to need some serious dry cleaning after her little pasta feast. I just can't pinpoint it.

The only thing I can really think of is the fact that the second one looks more artistic while the first is a blatant and kind of stupid way to sell clothing.

Am I the only one seeing this? Or does anyone else get simultaneously repulsed and intrigued by the sets of photos.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Of Concerts And Collisions

I heard that Bowling For Soup was in my hometown today via a tweet from the lead singer. Also that tickets would be 15 dollars at the door, very close by at the Bourbon Street Ballroom. Well actually I thought it was the Sonar at first. I misread the tweet. I immediately called the work wife to see if she wanted to go and she said she was sick but would try if she could. After some miscommunication and wonderings of why Sonar wasn't answering their phone since I had a question about the tickets (They lost their liquor licence for the next two weeks because it wasn't renewed. Bowling For Soup somehow pulled a rabbit out of a hat and got to play at Bourbon.), I finally figured out where it would be. I tried to get people to go with me but everyone was either sick or couldn't go. So I called my gay and told him I'd pick him up and pay for the ticket because he's a broke bitch.

Turns out he's in Aberdeen 30 minutes away. Nice going. It's already 6:45 and I have to get gas and money and the concert starts at 7pm. Smart chick that I am, I'm still going by Sonar's schedule and completely forgot that the Dollyrots would probably not be opening for them since it was canceled and then moved. I race all over to get my check cashed as fast as possible. I race to my friend's house, get both him and his boyfriend who wanted to tag along, and back. It starts storming so bad I can hardly see as we get closer to Baltimore, but I am determined. We get extremely close to there and then we got lost because my GPS is a piece of crap and there was no parking. However some nice hippy looking folks told us where free parking was and pointed us to the venue up the street.

We get there and it stopped raining, which was great since it was an outside place on top of a roof. Also there was no line, which should have given me my first clue that something was wrong. It is now 9pm. We walked up at least 5 flights of steps and had to pay full price at the door to be told the concert would be ending at 9:30pm. What kind of fucking dick move is that?! If you only have 15 minutes of concert time you should not have to pay full price! Part of me wanted to leave, but I heard Jaret's voice and thought 'I did not go through all of this, drive for an hour and a half to turn away now!' So I payed full price for everyone. Good thing was that there weren't that many people there So I was about 5 feet from the stage.

It was only Chris and Jaret up there singing that I could see. My camera phone is shitty and only takes 31 second movies (Why!!!), but I got to see their last song '1985' and take two videos. Warning: They are of crappy quality, seriously. You will not really see Jaret in these videos and I apologize. For clarification, the blur on your left will be Chris and the blur on your right will be Jaret. Also, the last time I posted a video it seems that a commenter didn't understand that you can scroll to the bottom of my page and turn off the music player. I hope that clears things up. Just turn it off. I assume you're all literate and competent enough to do that without me going into detail on how.





I was in heaven for the next 15 minutes and cheered and woo'ed like I had been there the whole time. When they finished they walked off stage and to the left and back. I tried to get to Jaret in time to ask for a hug or an autograph, but I couldn't and they were gone. Saddened I went back to my gay and his boyfriend and laughed as they told me it was the best 5 minute concert ever. We were getting ready to leave when I turned around and exclaimed 'This is so horrible'. This caught the attention of a man walking by (Who now that I think about it, may have been the tour manager Dave Hale, but I'm really not sure. He had half white hair and half brown in a little mo hawk like do. If anyone knows if that was him or not, please clarify for me.). He asked me how I was and I said OK and he said I seemed upset about something. So in my little sad sack voice I told him how I really wanted a hug and a picture with Jaret, but that he had gone and I didn't get to him in time.

He points to where there were apparently restrooms that I hadn't seen before and says, "Oh it's OK, he's right there. Come on, I'll get you to meet him." ....Holy shit (You also think I would have figured that the band stays around for at least a little while to sign things for fans and they hadn't actually left yet, but I'm a blond underneath all this red.). I walked over and he taps Jaret on the shoulder and tells him when he's done with the people he was talking with, I wanted to meet him. The man tells me not to be nervous as I wait patiently and try not to look too much like a Chihuahua that needs to go to the bathroom. Than about a couple of seconds later Jaret turns to me and says hi and I ask for a hug and a picture and told him I loved his music. He was so sweet...and he smelled really good too. I'll admit that I almost cried when I hugged him. Then we got interrupted and he kind of forgot about my picture for a moment because someone else came up for a picture.

But Jaret was so sweet that when I stood there and waited for it to be done and for a lull in conversation he agreed (again) for a picture. I also think I may have creeped him out a little. You see, my camera phone is really shitty and needs lots of light for pictures because for some reason the flash doesn't work on it. I don't know why. When I asked my friend, as Jaret was taking a picture with another fan, where we could take the picture, some random man told me to go into the bathroom since there was a lot of light and that's what one of the previous fans (male) had done.

Jaret turns around and I exasperatedly tell him, "My phone has no flash and I think I need to take you into the bathroom for the light." He gets this 'say what?' look on his face (Which is understandable, because it is very odd to hear a female fan ask to go into the bathroom with you when you are a male celebrity. I however was not thinking at the moment because I was still star struck.) and points to a bright sign and walks me over to it, with his arm around me and poses for a picture with me. I then told him thank you and that he rocked and double high fived him...kind of...he had a beer in one hand. I wanted so badly to buy a beer and hang around with the other fans, maybe talk to him a bit more and just tell him how much I loved his band, how great I thought they were, how whenever I'm down listening to their music always makes me happy again. Unfortunately I really had to get my friend home and didn't have time to. I also wanted to be less weird and awkward; but that's not happening anytime soon.

On the way to take my friend home we were rear ended. There were these people that looked like they were crossing the street. From where I was they were indeed kind of out in the street instead of on the median where they fucking belonged. I slowed down and actually stopped and was motioning for them to either run across or get the fuck out of my way so they didn't get hit...and that's when it happened. I heard the screech of a car braking quickly, looked into my rear view mirror and saw the collision. The two pedestrians looked, said "holy shit!" and then bounced as me and this man pulled into a gas station. Thank you fellow Baltimorons....thank you a lot. Thankfully he didn't hit me hard at all and only his fender was slightly dented and my beautiful Thelma had no damage whatsoever. So my lucky ass gets to deal with that tomorrow.....and pay my late insurance fee...fun.

But you know what? It was so worth it just to meet one of my favorite singers.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Bad Touch! Bad Touch!

Whenever people made fun of anime nerds I used to get all offended; like anyone would when they feel their hobby is being dissed. I would defend the honor of my Otaku brethren and tell the offender that not all Otakus are weird mouth breathers who live in their parents basement and make out with their Kagome pillows.

Then I met one. Now I know exactly what those people are talking about, and I realize, I never should have gotten offended because I am not one of those extreme anime fans. I mean, I love anime and manga. That's my preferred cartooning method of choice, I want to do that for a living. But I am not, nor could I ever hope to obtain to be, an extreme anime fan.

I had just had some lunch with a friend at an Indian diner and meant to go into Trader Joe's to buy some stuff for work so I didn't have to keep buying things from the salad bar. Somehow I mindlessly walked 15 feet past Trader Joe's and right into the Barnes and Nobles. I'd like to think it was providence. Thrust into a cornucopia of my favorite thing in the world I completely forgot about what I was supposed to be doing and headed over to the comic/manga section of the store. There was a college student standing at one end of the bookshelf and I walked past him to go see what they had and all that. My hand didn't even get to touch a book when all of a sudden he starts talking to me. I can't even remember what he started talking about at first.

He looked like a fat version of Dave Coulier. I tried to be nice and nodded, smiled and made a comment about whatever anime he was talking about...and then he wouldn't stop talking. Soon I found myself forced into a conversation I didn't really care for having at the moment and unable to really peruse the selections at hand. Then he started talking about Gundam and the more he talked the more I realized I could not keep up this smiling and nodding ruse. I had to come clean and tell him I never really watched the show so I didn't really know what he was talking about.

A 'What The Fuck?' look lit up Uncle Joey's face. I was secretly waiting for him to tell me to "cut it out", but instead what happened was even more odd and awkward. He comes closer to me and begins to play smack my face.

Now I'm a very laid back, jokey type of chick. I can deal with people I just met joking around and maybe giving me a light tap or pushing my shoulders a la Elaine Benes; especially if we've been getting to know each other through light conversation. This man however I didn't know at all, had been doing nothing but talking about anime with while I tried numerous times to get out of the conversation and browse mangas. Normally I would have acted negatively in a situation and not just let someone touch my face, but he was very gentle about it. It was more like he was tossing my face between his hands than smacking. But then it went on for a couple of seconds too long. I was also pretty shocked at the blatant disregard for personal space that the only thing I could think of to do was this 'I'm a dainty princess' move and put my hands up to my face, lean back and let out a squeak of helplessness. And if that wasn't bad enough, he very delicately, very gently kneed me in the stomach. It was like an offensive ballet move. Then he chastised me and told me I needed to watch more Gundam or some shit like that (Makes me glad I didn't cop to actually not liking the Gundam series. Not a fan of the mecha.).

All I could do was blush and stand there with a crinkled brow and wide eyed stare of 'holy hell' and think "Man he's a real weirdo without Uncle Jesse to keep him calm". After a couple more minutes of this I had finally grabbed the second in a series I was reading and looked for a way to disengage and escape. Then he asked me something about Fall Out 3 or...2, I don't know. I admitted I had never played the games before. The same look as before creeped upon his face and I smartly took a step or two back. Instead of coming closer he starts beckoning to me and says, "Come on, you know this is coming." and proceeds to pretend to kick me in the baby maker.

Thankfully I was back far enough away that no part of him could make contact. I proceeded with the only weapon I had in my arsenal at the time and pulled a complete girl move. I looked up and to the side, tilted my head, put my finger to my temple and continued to talk over him like I was lost in my own reverie of whatever the hell I was yapping on and on about and ignored him until he stopped. I can only hope that he meant to play kick me in the shin, but hyper extended his leg because I was too far away. I mean, you don't cunt punt chicks you don't know. Especially not without an agreed upon safe word either.

He made me feel so awkward I was afraid to lick my lips. They were dry and I could do nothing. That is some serious fucking awkwardness.

Then after another minute or two he looked at his watch and quickly announced he had to go. Turned away and hightailed it to the upper floor. It was so weird and bemusing he turned me British without the accent. All I could do was clutch my book and exclaim, "What a strange young man he was." as I watched him glide up the escalator like some sort of physically abusing Mary Poppins.

If that encounter was not awkward enough, I was also stared at by a baby. This was no normal baby stare either. It went on for way to long and was more of a baby death glare. When I was in line a mother and child were in front of me, the baby looks at me and smiles, I say hi tell the mom she's cute and look away at a bookmark hanging there. When I look forward again, this baby is just giving me the stink eye something horrible. Blank stare and squinty eyes. The whole nine yards. It was like she was thinking "You're the type of person who'd tell me Santa isn't real!". Which may or may not be true. But dammit I deserve the benefit of the doubt you 8 month old looking mother fucker! Every so often she would turn to her mother and smile or laugh and then turn right back to me and scowl and stare. It got to the point where I was actively looking at other things so I wouldn't have to look at that kid. I was never so glad to be out of a bookstore after that.

I swear I'm fly paper for crazies and awkward situations.