Friday, January 20, 2012

I Got A Stiffy For A Stiff

So this movie has been brought to my attention by a friend. I don't know what this obsession is with prettying up monsters. I don't understand it. They're monsters, let them be ugly....not saying that monsters can't be pretty of course (even though beauty is in the eye of the beholder in most of those cases.), but c'mon....they're zombies; you can only take it so far. I can just imagine zombies picketing with signs saying, "Put the Ugghhhhh back in Ugly!" "Nausea now! Beauty never!" "Maybe she was born with it, but maybe I ate your face!" OK, that last one didn't quite make sense....or maybe it did.

I won't lie, the premise sounds neat. If done correctly this could be good. I could see this being awesome if the makers of Shaun Of The Dead did this, or someone else who likes a lot of good tongue in cheek in their movies. But when I hear phrases like, "To fill the Twilight void for Twilight fans.", I feel the need to go to my happy place.

It's not like I don't know that zombies haven't been tried to be sexified before. But usually when people do things like that, it's always taken with some sort of grain of salt. We know what we're getting into. You grab onto a zombie prostitute's ass and you know you're getting a handful of cold, rotting, diseased flesh (much like a real prostitute.). There was always a sense of squick with it....and it was awesome. Shit got visceral. This I don't know about. It looks and sounds like he's less zombie and more ghoul...or idiot cannibal vampire.

On the plus side it does star John Malkovich.

Random Question 15:

How many times did it take you to pass your driving test?

Third time was the charm for me. The first time I fucked up on the parallel parking by getting stuck in this rocking back and forth motion with no way to fix it unless I pulled all the way out of the spot, which I couldn't. The second I forgot to put on my blinker when exiting the stupid test. Damn technicalities.

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