Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Dating And More Kinky Sex!

You're on a date, who's paying?

Normally people might say the guy should pay. But what if you're bisexual, or lesbian or gay ...or whatever?

I think the person that initiated the date should pay.

If you decide that one person is paying the full thing that is. I always feel an overwhelming need to at least offer to pay my own way, go dutch or pay for everything myself.

Kinkiest place you ever had sex? Kinkiest you ever wanted to have sex?

We didn't have sex, but I did give one of my ex boyfriends a blow job on a hiking trail. In the daytime...when the trail was in use. It was exciting, the thought that we might get caught at any moment. In fact he had just zipped up his pants when a family with two kids came around the corner and hiked up the trail we were on. I got the worst church giggles after they passed us.

I think the place I would most like to have sex in, or give head since that might be easier, would have to be a dressing room. I have no clue why but it's a really big fantasy of mine. Or inside of a car wash. Only because I think that would be hilarious and the race against time would be fun.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Cougars And Kinks

Is younger better?

I don't always think so. Than again, I tend to go for people who are up to 10 years older than I, so...

It depends how young. Younger people are idiots. Why would you want to go for someone that doesn't have their shit together? Then you have older women who play sugar momma for some young, immature dude. Why?

If I work for my money you can be damn sure I'm not just going to give it away to someone just because they're good in bed. And the same goes for self proclaimed sugar daddies!

I know I'm practically lambasting young men and women. Being that I'm 26 myself that is a bit odd. For every immature 20 something, there's one that does have all their stuff together and doesn't act like an idiot 24/7. But I just couldn't ever see myself being a 40 or 50 year old and dating someone that's 23 or whatever.

Surely you can prove your worth some other way. There are other ways to recapture your youth.

Why do you think some people gravitate towards BDSM?

I ask myself this question sometimes. I love BDSM. I can't watch porn unless it's that type of porn...or lesbian porn.

I'm completely submissive in bed. For me it's knowing that even though I can give up everything completely to this person and put my safety in their hands, quite literally in some situations, I am still safe.

I have trust issues. I want to find that type of relationship where I can trust someone so fully that they can choke me while we have sex and I know that I'm still safe. That all I have to say is 'red' and they'll stop. To be able to trust that, even though I'm bound, gagged and unable to defend myself, this person I'm with won't harm me or take it to a place I don't want it to go, or am not ready for it to go.

I also love the feeling of giving up everything and letting someone else take control, tell me what to do, boss me around.

And I really like pain. I don't understand that part of it. The other parts I can guess as to why I like them so much, but I don' t understand why I'm such a pain slut. I joke around with my friends that when I was a child my mom used to spank me, and now I love it. Reverse psychology punishment edition.

Is that a little weird? I don't know.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Another Look At Preferences: Grooming, Names and Circumcision

Circumcised or not? Shaven or no?

I prefer circumcised men. I just can't help it, and it's not that I'm uneducated on uncircumcised men. I know very well that it's a myth that they're dirty and all that. I'm also aware that it's very unfair to circumcise boys and that it takes away from their sexual pleasure as men.

I just don't really like the look of it.

Conversely I don't really care about manscaping...or womanscaping for that matter. I mean bald is OK, but at times I think it's a bit creepy. I don't want to have to ID you before sleeping with you. I do prefer hair, whether you trim or not is up to you, but I don't give a shit.

My guy friends and I had this conversation about a month ago at Wild Wings. I learned that they have very adamant positions on this topic. The more trimmed and hairless the better. I just don't get it.

What do you prefer to call genitalia?

When speaking in a non sexual sense, I call it penis and vagina. Very rarely vajayjay, or something else. I always feel silly calling it vajayjay so I've been trying to stop that more and more. I also feel kind of embarrassed for grown ups who can't call them by their proper terms. It is not your 'Susie Q', you're not a child. Nor is it your 'Ding Dong', stop that.

By the by, you shouldn't be teaching children to call them by these little pet names either. It can be detrimental. Remember, the cycle of dumbassery stops with you.

However, in a sexual sense, when talking dirty I prefer pussy, cock or cunt. I am very, very fond of the word cunt. I think it's powerful and sexy. Fucking hot.

I like hard 'c' words it seems.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

I Need A Hero

Your city's in trouble! Sexy trouble! They need a hero! A sexy hero! Who do you call?

I once had a comic idea for a hentai comic. A never fully realized idea. One day I shall complete it though...along with everything else. Baby steps and all that what.

Moving on though, it was a super hero hentai comic. Imagine a world, if you will, free of sexual restraints. People living normally, but not a lot of prudes in this world. People unashamed of their sexual orientations and natures. Unfortunately there is a tentacle monster on the loose. A monster that feeds off of sexual energy and turns its poor victims into uptight prudes! Oh the humanity!

What this city needs is Spanking Cat! Normally Jason is a mild mannered, yet perverted, convenience store owner; but when tentacles rear their ugly...heads (hehe), he transforms into....a man wearing a cat leotard. Armed with his magic Paddle of Inhibition he must battle the tentacle monster to save his world, his sex life, and save his girlfriend!

For a comic never drawn, I'm quite fond of Spanking Cat. A completely silly excuse for me to draw tons of cartoon boobs and tentacle sex.

I'd also pick Super Dyke. A construct of my friend. Super Dyke was a lesbian super hero (Imagine that.) that battled this evil dude with a penis for a nose, who had a ray gun that turned people straight...I think. I'm going to have to ask my friend to scan and send it to me one day....or talk her into making a web comic of it. It was hilarious and awesome. Super Dyke was so adorable and was always willing to help a damsel in distress.

Spanking Cat and Super Dyke. Super heroes you can trust.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Food Play

Ever brought food into the bedroom?

After the fact. Or even before the fact, as in feeding each other strawberries after a romantic dinner or something like that, yes; other than that, no.

I just don't really see a point to it. I mean, chocolate sauce, edible paints (which, by the way, taste disgusting. Or at least our brand did.), edible panties, other stuff like that I'm OK with. I don't really mind. Anything else I just don't get it. There are a couple of things I would like in my mouth in that moment...none of them are food related.

29 Days Of Sex: Question 19 And 20

If you could have any job in the sex industry, what would it be?

There's a good couple I'd take on.

I definitely would not mind being a sex phone operator. Hell, when I took my job as a telephone secretary, it's what my friends thought I was at first anyway. I'm actually keeping an eye open for any openings of that matter near where I live while I look for other jobs. I know there's at least one center around here that does that. The other I heard about closed down, from what I hear it pays damn good money. In that same ilk, as long as I didn't have to have sex, wouldn't mind being an escort either. Before I had to move back in with my parents I wasn't getting any substantial paychecks from my job that I was forced to quit anyway. So I did my research on how not to get caught and starting going through the motions of becoming an escort. Someone actually did answer one of my ads and was fine with my limits I had. They were willing to pay for my travel and room for a weekend on top of giving me money as well. I also would have gotten to visit a pagan festival with them.

Sadly I had to give that up because I wouldn't be able to explain my absence to the family I was moving in with. Huge regret that was, but possibly for the best as that can be a very dangerous profession. Also felt bad because I never let the man know, just left him hanging on my yes or no answer. Not that I meant to be a dick about it, but I lost internet for a while and wasn't able to get to a computer to tell him. So, if the pagan dude ever stumbles upon this blog and remembers that scenario, I'm really sorry. Really, I am, you at least deserved an answer, I just wasn't able to give you one because of extenuating circumstances. I hope you at least had fun at the pagan festival! Not as much fun as you would have had with me, but...there we are.

I think it would be neat to be a relationship or sex therapist too. More towards the sex part though. I absolutely love Dr.Ruth and always thought that sounded like a fun job. Besides I have a bit of an obsession with sex and such anyway, so I thought it would go naturally with my personality. However my drive and passion to be a writer and artist is more demanding of my attention than going to school for a career as a sex therapist. Besides, it's more fun to do sex challenges for a blog and answer prompts than talk someone through their problems with sex. Also, art is what I was originally majoring in college anyway. It's still one of my dream jobs though.

Finally, I would settle for porn peddler. It's what I was doing before taking this soul sucking job as a telephone operator. I loved working for Love Craft. So much. Sure there were a couple of times that I could have done without, like when it was left to me to clean the peep booths...again! But it was a fun job, and it was relaxing. Very laid back. If I could find an adult store that paid me a good couple of bucks and gave me enough hours that I could live on my own in my own apartment, I'd take it in a heart beat. Now that I have a car, nobody would ever have to know where I was working. But I don't think there are any great paying sex shops around here, and it's hard as hell to sustain yourself without at least one roommate. Sucks.

What is your favorite position?

When I was with my ex it was doggy. Or reverse cowgirl, that's good too. My absolute favorite position is on my knees though. I could quite literally spend all day on my knees. It's my favorite thing to do.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Size And Cheating Cheaters And The Cheats Who Cheat On Them

Do you think size really matters?

I don't think it should. Then again I am bisexual and a virgin, so what should I care? With penis pumps and extenders that men can put on their penis to make it seem bigger, why should it matter? There's also so many things you can do with a tongue and fingers. Isn't the old saying that it's not the size of the boat that matters, but how you steer it?

Besides, scientifically speaking, a wider penis is better than a longer one. The wider it is the more it will rub against your g-spot. Not a lot of women like to have their cervix rammed.

Is it ever OK to cheat?

I've always said no. I don't care about the situation, I don't think anyone should cheat, ever. But I am biased as almost all of my relationships have been with cheaters. I'm kind of like Bart Simpson's teacher Mrs.Krabappel, you only get one chance with me when it comes to that.

Cheating never made sense to me anyway. You have a problem in a relationship? Work it out, don't cheat on the person. That's just running away from your problems and making things worse in the long run. It's like starting a fire in your house and not worrying about it until the whole thing is a pile of ashes then, running at the smoldering flames with a thimble of water.

Have a problem in your relationship that can't be solved or you don't feel the love there anymore? Then break up with them, don't cheat on them. If you do that you're still keeping yourself in the same crappy, loveless relationship and you have to hide a relationship with the potential to be better.

Someone cheated on you? Ditch their sorry asses! Cheating is just petty and makes you look like the bad guy. Plus I always thought that this singer had the better idea on how to get revenge anyway.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

What Would You Suggest?

Your friend has never had a sex toy before and wants to buy one. What do you suggest?

This is one of the things I used to love about working at a sex shop. Well, besides getting 20 percent off anything I bought. People would ask what kind of toys or other things I could suggest and I would have something else to do other than study for college, and make sure they didn't steal shit.

So here are my suggestions for men, women, and couples who have never had a sex toy before and want to buy one.


There are two suggestions I will always make. The first is the rabbit.


No, not this one.

rabbit vibrator Pictures, Images and Photos

That's more like it, thank you photobucket.

I honestly think that every woman should own one. They're the perfect sex toy, especially if you've never owned one before. They're cute looking, so they're non intimidating/non threatening. They have many different settings and speeds, pulses and thrusts. You can control every part of the vibrator. Don't feel like having clitoral stimulation at the moment? You can turn that part off and still have the shaft vibrate and move.

Also the company that sells them is having a huge clearance sale at this time.

The next one I was going to suggest would have been the Magic Bullet, but I am going to have to go with the Hitachi Magic Wand. Unfortunately I have no personal experience with it, but my Gods do I ever want it. It's a lot more reasonably priced than I would have expected at only 60 some dollars. The only thing I've been warned about it is that you can't use it under the covers because it will overheat, and I've heard that it's not that quiet.

If you want cheaper and quieter...and something you can wear outside without people knowing, then go with the Magic Bullet.


I was going to suggest the Fleshlight, which is apparently highly suggested by Joe Rogan from what I've heard. If you want to trust Joe with your penis, then go ahead. He has one, so I'm sure he knows what to do with it. No sarcasm, just being honest.

But if I may, I would like to point out that the Fleshlight is fucking expensive. 60 some dollars for one pussy? Even the hookers downtown don't cost that damn much around here. Tenga eggs and cups? Not so much. Their insides have varied sensations, or whatever you want to call it. Much more so than the Fleshlight it seems. Some of the cups even have a hole at the end that you can cover for extra firm suction at your leisure. For the price of a Fleshlight you could literally buy about 8 Tengas. It's just good economical sense.


I like toys that are fun for both parties in the relationship. I never understood some online toy shops that have just porn, or just a vibrator that is clearly for the man to use on the woman, and say it's for couples. More sex toy manufacturers need to make things that are dual usage.

Vibrating cockrings
are always a good choice. Not all women can orgasm from just vaginal penetration, they need clitoral stimulation as well. This solves that and frees up your hand/s whatever it is you want to do with your hands. They're also good for helping men to last longer. You see, men get hard because of increased blood flow to the penis. A cockring helps keep the blood there and prolongs the point of orgasm, keeping you harder longer. Not to mention that men can get just as much out of the vibrations as the women can.

Although I have heard there are dangers with cutting off blood circulation with some of them. So be careful and make sure you get one that is big enough to fit you comfortably.

And if you get a smaller sized ring, you can wear it on your tongue. Either of you, so it has dual usage. Just be careful not to swallow it.

I would suggest the same to gay couples to. Just reverse the cockring and instead of clitoral stimulation, you have perineum and scrotal stimulation.

For lesbians looking for a harness, I love the corset harness. It can fit up to a 48 inch waist and is very comfortable. It's also easy to clean, rests against the pubic bone so your partner can get something out of it and just looks better than other harnesses to be honest. I have one. It's one of the few things I made sure I took when my relationship with my ex disintegrated and I'll be damned if I ever give it up.

I always hated those cheap harnesses that women use in porn. How they pull away from the wearer constantly and never seem to fit, the women that use them are always fucking slipping out of the poor woman's vagina they're banging, and they look tacky.

So those were my suggestions. Any newbies that find this blog through google searches and what not, I hope I've served you well. I also hope you like my blog even though it's not about sex 24/7 (that doesn't mean you don't have to think about it 24/7 though. Lord knows I do), and you stick around.

Tomorrow we talk about size.

29 Days Of Sex: Question 15

Do you like porn?

15 Questions into this writing challenge and I think it should be a little bit obvious that I do. Oh Gods do I ever.

I know that porn gets a lot of flack. A lot of it. And yes, porn does have its bad points, but it has many good points as well.

I like porn mainly because it is a safe outlet for experimentation. You can explore so many different fantasies that you never would have thought of otherwise, and all from the safety and comfort of your couch. It was porn that helped me finally realize I was bisexual (well, my friends too, but also porn).

It can also serve to help spice up others sex lives. You can find new moves or techniques. Or if you're too shy to tell your significant other what you would like to can always show them.

So that's my stance on it, porn is awesome.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Forever Alone Day

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone. I hope every one's day went well at some point or in some way or another and that no one got bombarded by mushyness to the point of wanting to kick in couple's teeth.

Is it ever OK to fake an orgasm?

Perhaps I should have worded that question 'Should you ever fake an orgasm?' as there is no morality to the act.

I don't think anyone should fake orgasms ever.

I mean, think about it ladies and the few odd men out who know how to fake theirs, orgasms feel so good. Don't you deserve to feel that? Don't you think every sexual experience you have should be a fulfilling and awesome one?

If you really want to fake your orgasm, have fun; but in the end you're cheating yourself. Communication really is key to everything and sex acts are no different. If someone isn't doing something right, or if it just isn't happening, don't think that faking it is going to solve the problem. The problem is that you're not getting off, faking does nothing.

And I know what some women are thinking, 'But Addy! I don't want to hurt my lover's feelings!'

OK, well you don't have to be rude about it then. There are ways to approach the subject gently. There is no shame in asking for what you want, or if you have trouble vocalizing it, showing your lover what you want them to do to you. Besides if you're having sex with someone, you should be able to talk openly and honestly with them without them getting their knickers in a twist. I know if I was doing something that just wasn't cutting it for somebody I would want to know.

I know I'm quite guilty of this; at first it was because of not being able to communicate my needs with my then boyfriends and then it was because of anxieties. Consequentially I've only had a couple of orgasms given to me by only two people...ever. Well besides the ones I've given myself of course. Being that I'm now 26, that is sad as hell! Especially since the first person that got it right made me wonder why I never voiced my concerns before then.

So everyone, stop faking your damn orgasms! And if you're the better half of someone who has the courage to tell you they don't really like what you're doing at the present time, don't feel bad about it. Just take it as a learning experience, you would want them to do the same for you.

What is your favorite naughty website?

I used to love Redtube, but now I'm more about Deviant Clip and Sun Porno.

Also Kitties and Titties because it's hilarious and gives me the church giggles.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Annoying Behaviors

What is something that men or women do during sex that annoys the shit out of you?

Usually, in my experience anyway, women don't do to many things that annoy me. We both have the same parts, we know what we're doing with them so there's none of that inexperience bullshit. My biggest gripe when it comes to women is that when they really start getting into it, the women I've been with at least, tend to grab at the hair or hug you close.

Now I don't mind a bit of hair pulling, it's hot...really hot, but when you pull upwards or for prolonged periods of time I can't do my job as well. You can't eat pussy with a migraine. It just isn't happening. Also I have a love affair with my curls. I'd like to keep them attached to me thank you.

The hugging close is not as painful, but nonetheless annoying still. I understand you want to be close to me, you're in a vulnerable position, whatever, but there's a reason why people cuddle after any kind of sexual stimulation. I can't move. If I can't move I can't do all the wonderful things that are making you make all those delightful noises at the present time. Plus if you hug my face into your boobs too much I can't breath. (Insert sad face here.)

With men, though limited my experiences have been, my biggest complaint has to be not making any noise.

One of you guys explain this to me, why are you so stoic? I don't understand it. How can I tell if I'm giving a good blow job or not? Also I'm very audial. I don't even really like porn unless it has sound. It's like giving me water flavored candy. I'm happy I have candy, but I'm missing an integral part to it. I like it when men moan and are vocal, it's sexy. Don't hold back.

For the sake of being fair, I have one more. My clit. It is attached to me, please stop trying to flick it off. If you are the type of guy that does that, slow, firm, little circles. Remember that and women will thank you. Maybe a flicking motion every once in a while is OK, but not the whole damn time and not super hard/fast.

Erotic Art And Porn

Is there a difference between erotic art and porn?

I think it's a shade of grey. To be considered visual erotica, shouldn't something be pornographic in nature?

I've always thought of erotic art as the burlesque/strip tease of pornography. Erotic art is to Dita Von Teese as pornography is to whatever stripper is featured in a Snoop Dogg video at the moment. But in a way they're still linked. Or even better example: Erotic art is to Playboy as pornography is to Hustler.

Perhaps I should have added this question to the previous one about mood music. This is one tiny ass post, sorry I don't have much to say on the subject.

Getting In The Mood

What is your mood music of choice?

If it's for some fun making out kind of deal, I like Magic Stick. It's kind of silly or blush-worthy, it's raunchy and has a good beat.

Otherwise I really like Nine Inch Nails Closer. It has good...rhythm. You could really um....follow along to it.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Legalize It! Prostitute Version

Should prostitution be legalized?


No wait.

Fuck yes.

Not only should prostitution be legalized I believe it should be regulated as well. Not tolerated, not decriminalized, but legalized and regulated full on. Let's face it, you're never going to get rid of some things, prostitution is one of them, you might as well legalize and regulate some of them to make it safer for the people involved. It's the same stance I have for marijuana legalization.

Prostitution has been around since about 2400 BC. It's not going anywhere anytime soon. Because of the nature of their jobs and the stigma against them, prostitutes are susceptible to STD's, rape and homicide. If a prostitute exchanges sex for money and gets stiffed, she has no one to go to and loses out on the money she puts herself in danger earning. Likewise if she refuses a certain sex act and a client forces it upon her, chances are she might not go to the police for fear of being treated like a criminal herself. This is not even touching upon the stigma that rape and sexual assault is the fault of the prostitute for putting themselves in the position to be taken advantage of due to the nature of their professions. In 2007 it was estimated that over one million people have worked as prostitutes, that's just women, it's not counting the male escorts. These people deserve to have the legal protection to do their jobs safely and without worry.

There is a theory that legalizing prostitution would also lead to a decrease in human sex trafficking if it is regulated. With more sex workers to supply the demand of sex, it will drive human trafficking out of business. Also along the lines of the human trafficking business, with prostitution legalized police could then focus their efforts on identifying and stopping human trafficking.

To make a long post short, I think instead of criminalizing, prosecuting and oppressing the people that go into this part of the sex industry, we should be empowering them and helping them in any way possible.

More reading:

29 Days Of Sex: Questions 7 and 8

What do you think is the most important quality in a relationship?

Honesty and respect. Hands down.

Who is your biggest celebrity crush?

My love for the sexy Jew that is Adam Richman is well documented on this blog. I also have a huge thing for MC Frontalot with a main course of David Bowie. Yes I know how old the Thin White Duke is but I don't fucking care! I still think he's is "teh sex". He's timeless.

MC has a thing for the goth girls so I actually think that I could have a chance there.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

I Love Weird Weddings

One more post before sleep, still playing catch up, I'll probably combine two questions into one post tomorrow before work.

What is your dream wedding?

I was one of those girls that sometimes fancied what their wedding would be like. Things have changed since I was younger, mostly because of my changes in religion as I grew, but one constant about my dream wedding was always that it would be on Samhain.

I absolutely love that holiday, and its Christian counterpart Halloween. The candy, the costumes, decorations and horror movie marathons, I love it all. The holiday where a goth and/or pagan can truly let loose.

I love weird weddings and the weirder they are, the more I love them. Speaking of Halloween weddings, I absolutely love this youtube video. I also love that the groom memorized Beetlejuice's mannerisms and speeches. It's too perfect. I love the couple that got married in this video so much based on their wedding, that I hope they stay together forever.

I've always wanted a wedding that was a nice blend of eccentricity and tradition. I would love to have a wedding dress based off of Sally the Ragdoll's dress from A Nightmare Before Christmas. I think it would be neat to have a white silk or lace dress with bell sleeves and a bodice with fabric that mimics Sally's dress patterns on it. The color theme for the wedding would be blood red, royal purple and forest green instead of usual orange and black. Although the good thing about the dark shades of red, purple and green is that the right shade of orange and black would compliment them as well; so it could still be included.

And while the wedding party would be more "conservatively" dressed, I would completely encourage the attendees to dress however they wanted. Jeans and nice tee shirt? Go for it! And since it's Halloween of course costumes would be allowed. Want to dress up as a big baby complete with adult sized diaper? Fuck yeah you can at my wedding! Dress up as a stereotypical redneck with missing teeth, beer belly, stained wife beater and mullet? Bring it on! Got an Elvira costume gathering dust in the closet? Blow that baby off! (Wait...that didn't quite sound right...)

I don't have everything planned out yet though, for obvious reasons. I just know I want it to reflect my future partner and I's personalities and be a fun event that people will talk about for months. I also have thought that it would be neat to renew the vows with a wedding every couple of years. Now the renewal weddings could definitely be like the wedding in the youtube video. I don't care how off the walls those are. Those I wouldn't care if they were low key with not many people. But the first actual wedding would have to be different and big. Truth be told, I only plan on getting married once.

Now to only find a partner that's as odd and fun loving as I am.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The Concept Of Virginity

I am really going to have to play catch up here. Sorry for the lack of postage, work has interfered and I've been sick.

Are you still a virgin? When do you think you actually lose your virginity?

I am still a virgin.

Virginity is a funny concept when you think about it and one that we could discuss for ages, so I'll try and keep this kind of short. It is at times a physical condition, a spiritual one, and sometimes somewhere in between. To define virginity you have to define the rules and paradigm within which that state resides. This is different to everyone, especially if you define virginity as someone who has had sex because everyone has different definitions of sex.

Most people would not define oral sex as sex. The same goes for manual stimulation or mutual masturbation. Some people believe that only vaginal penetration with a penis is sex and anal doesn't count, so you can have anal sex and still be a virgin. For some any type of sex is actual sex and if you engage in it thus ends your status of virgin. Then there are people who believe that it must also be consensual and so survivors of rape are still virgins, if they were before being raped, because it was not their choice.

The concept of virginity is also different based on sexual orientation and gender. In the gay community some lesbians believe that fingering or having oral sex counts. I remember experiencing this mindset when my then girlfriend essentially cherry blocked herself for the night. She had picked me up from a late class and we started making out in her car. She was trying to persuade me to go to her apartment and let her use her strap-on on me. I was hesitant and she laughed and blurted out, 'Why? It's not like you're a virgin anyway.'

I was thoroughly confused and she explained that lesbians consider manual and oral, both of which we had done at that point, as actual sex and if you did that you were no longer a virgin. She went to kiss me and I flipped out and started crying and tried arguing the status of my virginity, stating that if I had known that I never would have done that with her and debating the concept of virginity all at the same time.

She pulled a glorious 'What the fuck?!' face and started backtracking. 'Calm down, maybe you are still a virgin, how am I supposed to know? This is just what I define sex as, so to me you wouldn't be a virgin but I'm probably wrong.'

I believe my response after that was something along the lines of, 'You're an idiot, I want to go home.' Consequentially I don't remember much of any type of sex being had by either party that night and after I told her, in no uncertain terms, that I still considered myself a virgin, the topic was never brought up again.

But it did make me take a long, hard look at what I consider virginity and the confines within which that status, and the answer to this writing prompt, lies for me.

I view virginity and its loss, as a series of small corruptions with consensual vaginal penetration by a man to be the biggest of them all and the ender of "the game". To me anal sex is a bit of a grey area that threatens to cross the line but doesn't actually do it. Besides giving head I've never had any type of sex with a man, so even though I've been with women I still believe I am a virgin.

I know Wikipedia is looked down on, but this article is very interesting on the concept of virginity and more importantly, so are some of its sources. This article on the history of virginity, has some interesting tidbits as well.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

The Fetish Revisted

What do you think constitutes a fetish?

I don't always like the word fetish. It can be annoying. I like kink a lot more. Kink sounds funny, fun and is ultimately a lot more satisfying. Exactly like how a kink should be. If I were to play a word association game, preference would probably be the word I would most likely associate with when thinking of the word kink. I think that the word fetish is being overused to the point of not meaning anything and becoming degrading; even as a slang word.

During one of my little rants my friend, who is studying to become a psychologist, informed me that the DSM classifies fetish as an actual mental disorder. A fetish is an intense, recurring, sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviors centering around a non living object. To be classified as an actual fetishist this would have to impair your life and way of living to some degree, or cause you some sort of distress.

To give an example, just because you have a thing for feet and you like it when your wife, lover or the prostitute around the corner rubs their toes all over your boner every once in a while, it doesn't mean you have a 'foot fetish'.

On the other hand if you are inexplicably drawn towards feces and practice corprophagia daily, to the point where you can no longer hold normal relationships with people, and you hate it, but you can't stop yourself. If this is the only way you can get off, you most likely have a fetish.

Even so, I don't really get bent out of shape when people sling the word around to describe a sexual preference. I do it too sometimes when I casually say I have a biting or mouth fetish. I absolutely can not stand when people use the term fetish to downplay another person's relationship or sexual arousal to something that is, actually, quite normal. I see people do this quite a lot. Especially if it's not said person's personal sexual preference that they're saying this about.

The biggest ones I see people doing this to are people who either date little people (am I supposed to capitalize that?) or fat people.

"She totally has a midget fetish, have you seen the height of the person she's dating now? I swear they're getting shorter every year."

"Oh, he's such a chubby chaser, he's got a total fetish for fat people. I bet they feed each other in bed like those people you see on weird TV documentaries. What do they call people like that? Feeders?"

Yes, obviously these people have fetishes even though they're living absolutely normal lives. There's no way that a person of average height could like a little person unless they are a fetishist. There's no way that anyone could be attracted to fat people without something being wrong with them. Because this isn't normal. You're not supposed to like people whose physical attributes veer from what is accepted as "normal" to the mainstream public. In fact, thank God for these fetishists, because without them the freaks of the world would never get laid.

I dislike this so much because by labeling someone's attraction to their significant other who happens to be a little person as a 'midget fetish', it downplays the seriousness of their relationship. It automatically brings to mind that they see their SO as something other than a person. That the SO can bring nothing to the relationship other than the fact that they're short, fat, or what have you. It makes me think that this person's personality, and other attributes, only fall secondary to their physical attributes and what their partner can get out of them sexually. It's saying this person is so overly sexualized that they have fallen into the category of 'thing'. They are only good for serving as the living embodiment of some perverse sexual fantasy.

Because remember kids, if your fantasies and desires aren't thought of as 'normal', they're perverse as hell.

I hope everyone is liking the 29 Days of Sex blog challenge so far. Tune in tomorrow, we'll be discussing virgins.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Body Parts

What is your favorite, obviously sexual, part of the female body? The male? How about non obvious?

For the female body, I'm a total boobs girl. I mean, I love butts too, but (teehee) titties win out every time.

I mean really, how can you not like these? They're just so plush and pillowy, I love snuggling them. I don't know about the rest of you chicks but I can't even keep my hands off of my own. They're just fun.

My damn thoughts exactly.

As for males, I'm going to have to say it's the dick. Straight up in love with the penis.'s out (hahaha) I love penis. Like breasts, it's just fun to play with. In fact, I'm a little jealous of the penis. Unlike men I will never know the pride in peeing my own name in the snow (without the help of a she wee of course...yes, that product's real.)....or having someone play ring toss by throwing donuts on my erection. Don't act like you've never thought of it before.

As for non sexual, for both I love a nice set of teeth and full lips. We've covered this in the last post though. For men I think it would be the arms or stomach. It's funny, I love strong arms especially if they're on the muscular side. Stomach though, abs are definitely nice, but I like Buddha bellies. A little bit of pudge is not a bad thing, I think it's cute.

May the Gods absolutely help this man if I ever get my hands on his cute stummy/sexy body.

For the women it's the eyes and the legs. Especially if the girl is in heels because they accentuate the calves. Which is weird when if you think about the fact that I completely have the hots for butch girls, not femme....usually.

What Is Your Pleasure

Do you have a "fetish" or a kink? What is it?

Oh my goth, let me count the ways.

I love BDSM, it's the only porn I'll watch besides lesbian porn. The vanilla stuff just doesn't really do it for me. A male porn star who looks like he's trying to hard and a female trying to maintain interest in the same boring poses as always? Please bitches.

Personally I have a big thing for biting. Faces are always my favorite part of a person, favorite thing to draw as well, but I am especially enamored with lips. Especially lips like Mick Jagger's, nice and kissable. Of course, a nice set of teeth are always good. I like straight teeth more than pointed teeth oddly enough. A nice set of teeth can just get my mind racing about how badly I want to bite and get bitten by said person.

I need to find someone with a mouth like David Bowie is what is boils down to.

As good as biting is, I sometimes wonder if spanking isn't better. It used to annoy me sometimes when I was in bed with my ex and she wouldn't take advantage of the doggy position. Seriously, that is the best position for this! If you get someone in doggy and don't take at least a couple of whacks, then just give up and go into the missionary position.

Also hair pulling should definitely go with spanking. At least I think they go hand in hand.

Exhibit has the right idea, and how did this song not end up on the playlist?

I'll cut this somewhat short because I could list things all day.

So what is your favorite kink?

Thursday, February 2, 2012

29 Days Of Sex: Monogamy

Woohoo, 29 days of sex! My favorite topic! Sounds exciting...and chafing. Remember, lube is your friend everyone. No need to be embarrassed about using it.

As I said before in a previous post, I shall be doing a 29 days of sex blog challenge. Actually it's more than just sex. Relationships, love and the like, but this was the only accurate title I could think of without making it sound like it was some mushy Valentine's thing.

Yes there will be boobies and wanton images on some posts; so to my blushing flowers out there, kindly avert your gaze at the right moments as you giggle and redden and remember it's all in good fun...or press the back button on the browser, whatever.

Man what a lackluster start to this blog challenge. Had to skip a day though. Someone at work called out with pneumonia and I worked a double overnight shift, then had to be back in at 4pm today. I'll do a double post tomorrow to keep on track. Now on to the first writing prompt.

Has society outgrown monogamy?

This was a statement proclaimed to me by a friend on a late night drive. she was telling me about this somewhat complicated relationship she's struck up with her boss' girlfriend behind her own fiance's back. We then went on to discuss some of her other relationships and conquests. I came to realize that quite a few of them were of the extra marital variety. Her myriad of relationships has led her to believe that cheating can be forgiven because our society has just grown out of monogamy. She doesn't believe that anyone can ever truly be monogamous and the loyalty found in one on one relationships is doomed to falter sooner or later.

My friend JessJess on the other hand thinks that our society has just grown selfish and immature. That we are too impatient to work on a relationship and try and fix things that can be fixed easily or with a little bit of work/counseling.

I tend to think it's a bit of both actually; along with some few odds thrown in. I think that maybe we have outgrown a need to only have monogamous relationships, if there ever was a true need in the past. I think by now we should have grown as a society to be able to accept relationships outside of the average monogamous heteronormative relationships you usually see.

I'm also not going to deny that with every passing year we seem to be made up of more and more man-children. I don't know what the feminine form of that is but they are also included, yes. There are no baby boomers or Generation X...Y Z, what have you. We are nothing but a Me Generation. If it's not all about us all of the time, we couldn't give a shit and that goes for our relationships as well. Throw in stubbornness and an inability to be honest with each other for more than two seconds and you have a recipe for a disastrous relationship with a side of regret.

I don't think everyone is cut out for a monogamous relationship, and likewise, not everyone is cut out for a polygamous relationship either. To me it boils down to communication and honesty. I've seen so many friends of mine who were scared to be honest with their partners about simple things. These people had an on going inability to communicate like adults in their adult relationship. Because they couldn't be honest to their significant other they felt it was the same the other way around. And a good bunch of times it was. Of course it was, how could it not be when you can't even sit down like grown adults and talk shit out?

I've always said I valued honesty and loyalty, all throughout my pre adolescent, teen years and even now. But I've come to notice that I value honesty above loyalty. My thought on that is this, if you have honesty, you don't have to worry about loyalty. If you are truly honest with each other, you don't have to worry that they're having sex with someone without your knowledge. You won't have to worry if your relationship is going down the tubes without you seeing any 'signs'. The only 'sign' that something is wrong would be an open, earnest discussion with your partner about the things that are wrong that need to be worked on together.

Yes, together.

A problem in a relationship, even if it is originating from one of you, is a problem for both of you. There is no me in a relationship of any kind. If you want to live together and aren't just in it for a booty call every now and then, you have to drop the selfish shit and realize that although you can keep your individuality you are now a unit. Even more so if you get married. If you don't believe that it is working out and you two need to split, or if you realize that you don't want to be steady with someone but they do, the answer is not to cheat on them. That causes so many more problems than it helps...and it makes you a douche. The answer is to be honest and open. To be smart enough to realize that this ship is sinking, and you need to abandon it before it takes both of you down with it.

I would rather have someone tell me that they didn't love me anymore than have to realize that from catching them cheating on me. Of course I would be hurt and angry at first. Who doesn't when going through a break up? But I would get over it and respect them more than if they just stopped calling and ignored me, or if they saw another person behind my back.

I don't think that monogamy is bad or that we've outgrown it as a whole. I just think that people are stupid, selfish, dishonest and shitty at communicating with others. I think that if we see a relationship isn't working for any reason at the present time we just throw up our hands and cry, 'fuck it!' and walk away from something that could have been worked out.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Seizures And Cookies

Man I wish that I was writing about cookies so good they induced seizures. Or some sort of seizure that made you want to bake cookies so good they induced seizures; so it was some kind of fucked up cycle of eating cookies and having seizures. But no.

Some dude that came in to fill an application at my work had a seizure. Not going to lie about it. At first it was a bit exciting because I was there, trying to take control of the situation where it was needed and instructing my manager and co worker on what to do when I had to. My co worker wanted to put something in his mouth to bite down on. She has an excuse, she's old, so she still believes that myth that they'll bite off their tongues or swallow them. My manager called 911 while she put him on his side because by that time he was salivating and frothing and trying to cough it up on his back. Then we just stood there.

I know it sounds like we were waiting with our thumbs up our asses, but seizures are a lazy man's emergency. There really isn't much you can do.

Basically you first try to protect the person from injury the best you can. This can be done one of two ways:
Either you A. move shit out of their way so they don't hit themselves on it, or have it fall on them.

Or B. if they're sitting in a chair, try to keep them from falling or gently guide them down to the floor and away from things. Than follow instruction A.

Try to put them on their side so any liquids will leak out of their mouths and they won't choke.

If their head is banging against the floor a lot, gently and carefully, put some sort of pillow or cushioning underneath the head.

Holy shit, don't put anything in their mouths!

Having been in a room while this guy I was seeing had an epileptic fit I can attest that ,yes, seizures are scary as shit. Even if they're small ones like the guy's at work was. With all the grunting and the convulsing and jaw clenching, yeah it does look like their tongue could be in trouble; but for all that is fucking holy don't put anything in their mouths. You could cause them injury or death and they could injure you by biting you. They can't control what they're doing, so don't think it's going to be some sort of little nip.

After that, don't try to hold them down or restrain them; you can cause injury to them and them to you that way. Just take a step back and let them seize while you call 911 and keep an eye on them.
(Resources for further reading on giving aide to seizure victims.)

Thankfully his sisters were in the same general vicinity as him. And this awesome random black dude who saw what was happening and came to help because, coincidentally, his cousin also has seizures. I told my manager I was going back to answering calls since the sisters were there and an ambulance was on the way and everything was under control. Don't look at me like that, I have a job and they didn't need me anymore. Plus, his sisters confirmed that he sometimes has these, so it's not like these were unusual for him.

I sat down and only got to answer one fucking call when all of a sudden there's a bunch of hollering from the front of the office. I thought he was having another seizure and look over. At first it looked like my manager was waving her arms at the black dude and the dude looked like he was holding a gun. I got a little worried but was actually more confused about this. I mean, what the fuck ARBD?! I thought we were chill! Then I realized he's holding his phone and pointing, not holding a gun, and the person jumping and flailing around goes after my manager who I can now see. Holy fuck, seizure dude is attacking my manager!

His sister yells for us to lock our doors because they're afraid that he's going to try and come through the doors to us. Apparently this behavior is not usual for him and it just so happens the ambulance just has to be taking their good old fucking time about shit this time around.

Of course all we can do is close the second set of doors because none of our fucking doors, except for the door to the recording room, can fucking lock. Well isn't that some shit. I'm now getting scared, calm attitude and knowing what to do be damned! It's panic attack time! I feel like I can't breathe and I want to be away from all the commotion so I go to exit out the back door and well wouldn't you fucking know it? The damn construction workers blocked off the fucking door with wood so that the concrete wouldn't bust through while they were working on the walk way above us. For fuck's sake. I'm about to lock myself in the recording room and sit in a corner when ARBD tackles the guy and restrains him on the floor until the ambulance arrives.

My manager got a cut on her nose from where he hit her and two cuts on her hand and arm from where he grabbed at her. She's shaken up, but other than that she's OK. The ambulance comes and makes sure everyone's OK and takes him away.

I have no clue what the hell happened after I left the room, but I feel so bad for him. I hope he's OK.

It really reminds me though that I want so badly to get CPR and first aide certified. Knowing what to do definitely makes me calmer. I'm an anxious bitch, sometimes I'm just no good in an emergency. This time I surprised myself though...until bitches started getting attacked.

Work is getting too crazy. Oy vay.

Too long; didn't read: After today, my work is getting doors that lock.

Now for something completely different....cookies! Berger's is selling limited edition cookies from 1972. As in they used to sell them in 1972 and now they're bringing them back for a limited time only (as of now, only one more week.). Not that they found some from 1972 on a shelf and are selling them. Although to be honest they might as well be.

To put it bluntly, I think they suck. Berger's is famous for their shortbread cookies (that are only sold here in Baltimore.) with a thick chocolate fudge topping. Those do rock, let's not make any bones about that. I love freezing them and then eating them with milk. Those are the only ones they sell...ever. They also have some sort of cake that I've been told is sold in Giant stores, but I've never seen it or noticed it.

But these? Save your money.

First off, they don't have fudge on them. It's some sort of icing or frosting. They come in three flavors: strawberry, rum and lemon. And they all suck. There's just something about the taste, I can't pin point it or explain it, it's just not good. It's got an odd flavor and at times is too sweet and just doesn't go with the cookie.

Which is horrible; I was really interested in them and like their cookies.

If they want to change their stuff around, I really wish they would stick with the same regime but add tweaks. Keep the fudge topping, but if you want strawberry, why not strawberry fudge? Or peanut butter for that matter. That would rock out with its cock out. Until then I'll enjoy the normal Berger's.