Monday, February 13, 2012

Annoying Behaviors

What is something that men or women do during sex that annoys the shit out of you?

Usually, in my experience anyway, women don't do to many things that annoy me. We both have the same parts, we know what we're doing with them so there's none of that inexperience bullshit. My biggest gripe when it comes to women is that when they really start getting into it, the women I've been with at least, tend to grab at the hair or hug you close.

Now I don't mind a bit of hair pulling, it's hot...really hot, but when you pull upwards or for prolonged periods of time I can't do my job as well. You can't eat pussy with a migraine. It just isn't happening. Also I have a love affair with my curls. I'd like to keep them attached to me thank you.

The hugging close is not as painful, but nonetheless annoying still. I understand you want to be close to me, you're in a vulnerable position, whatever, but there's a reason why people cuddle after any kind of sexual stimulation. I can't move. If I can't move I can't do all the wonderful things that are making you make all those delightful noises at the present time. Plus if you hug my face into your boobs too much I can't breath. (Insert sad face here.)

With men, though limited my experiences have been, my biggest complaint has to be not making any noise.

One of you guys explain this to me, why are you so stoic? I don't understand it. How can I tell if I'm giving a good blow job or not? Also I'm very audial. I don't even really like porn unless it has sound. It's like giving me water flavored candy. I'm happy I have candy, but I'm missing an integral part to it. I like it when men moan and are vocal, it's sexy. Don't hold back.

For the sake of being fair, I have one more. My clit. It is attached to me, please stop trying to flick it off. If you are the type of guy that does that, slow, firm, little circles. Remember that and women will thank you. Maybe a flicking motion every once in a while is OK, but not the whole damn time and not super hard/fast.

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