What do you think constitutes a fetish?
I don't always like the word fetish. It can be annoying. I like kink a lot more. Kink sounds funny, fun and is ultimately a lot more satisfying. Exactly like how a kink should be. If I were to play a word association game, preference would probably be the word I would most likely associate with when thinking of the word kink. I think that the word fetish is being overused to the point of not meaning anything and becoming degrading; even as a slang word.
During one of my little rants my friend, who is studying to become a psychologist, informed me that the DSM classifies fetish as an actual mental disorder. A fetish is an intense, recurring, sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviors centering around a non living object. To be classified as an actual fetishist this would have to impair your life and way of living to some degree, or cause you some sort of distress.
To give an example, just because you have a thing for feet and you like it when your wife, lover or the prostitute around the corner rubs their toes all over your boner every once in a while, it doesn't mean you have a 'foot fetish'.
On the other hand if you are inexplicably drawn towards feces and practice corprophagia daily, to the point where you can no longer hold normal relationships with people, and you hate it, but you can't stop yourself. If this is the only way you can get off, you most likely have a fetish.
Even so, I don't really get bent out of shape when people sling the word around to describe a sexual preference. I do it too sometimes when I casually say I have a biting or mouth fetish. I absolutely can not stand when people use the term fetish to downplay another person's relationship or sexual arousal to something that is, actually, quite normal. I see people do this quite a lot. Especially if it's not said person's personal sexual preference that they're saying this about.
The biggest ones I see people doing this to are people who either date little people (am I supposed to capitalize that?) or fat people.
"She totally has a midget fetish, have you seen the height of the person she's dating now? I swear they're getting shorter every year."
"Oh, he's such a chubby chaser, he's got a total fetish for fat people. I bet they feed each other in bed like those people you see on weird TV documentaries. What do they call people like that? Feeders?"
Yes, obviously these people have fetishes even though they're living absolutely normal lives. There's no way that a person of average height could like a little person unless they are a fetishist. There's no way that anyone could be attracted to fat people without something being wrong with them. Because this isn't normal. You're not supposed to like people whose physical attributes veer from what is accepted as "normal" to the mainstream public. In fact, thank God for these fetishists, because without them the freaks of the world would never get laid.
I dislike this so much because by labeling someone's attraction to their significant other who happens to be a little person as a 'midget fetish', it downplays the seriousness of their relationship. It automatically brings to mind that they see their SO as something other than a person. That the SO can bring nothing to the relationship other than the fact that they're short, fat, or what have you. It makes me think that this person's personality, and other attributes, only fall secondary to their physical attributes and what their partner can get out of them sexually. It's saying this person is so overly sexualized that they have fallen into the category of 'thing'. They are only good for serving as the living embodiment of some perverse sexual fantasy.
Because remember kids, if your fantasies and desires aren't thought of as 'normal', they're perverse as hell.
I hope everyone is liking the 29 Days of Sex blog challenge so far. Tune in tomorrow, we'll be discussing virgins.