Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Shut The Hell Up About Chick-Fil-A

Here is my only needless caveat. As a member of the gay community I understand why marriage equality (and equality in general) is so important and so needed. I also understand that we need to keep standing up for ourselves and each other more and more. We must keep fighting harder for equal rights that have been too long in coming. I am not saying that we shouldn't be fighting for equal rights and marriage equality and calling out people and corporations on their bigoted behavior.

I am saying this:

Can we all please shut the hell up about Chick-Fil-A for like one fucking day?

I am so sick and tired of hearing about that damn restaurant. All I've been hearing about for the past two or more weeks is Chick-Fil-A. It's over saturation at this point. The drama isn't even good anymore, it's stale and boring.

Actually to me it's been stale for a while now. I don't know why this boycott is suddenly on everyone's radar. Do you know how long I've been told to boycott Chick-Fil-A because of its stance on gay rights?

The past 7 fucking years.

Yes, that's right. 7 fucking years I've known about this and is one of the main reasons I've almost never eaten there (I think I've eaten there about five times in my whole life). The poster that everyone's been posting online and on Facebook is not new either. I've been seeing that for the past 7 years as well.

Truth be told the whole concept of not buying from some place because of their stance on gays and equality is not really all that ground breaking either. Even if it wasn't about gays and was about a complete other reason it wouldn't be ground breaking. First off, it's your right as a consumer to talk with your money, that's how shit gets changed. Secondly, the Human Rights Campaign offers a list of business' in their Corporate Rating Index for just that purpose. I know a good couple of people that use it to spend their money on corporations that support values they support.

What I'm saying is, this shit is not news.

Now the Oreo boycott hullabaloo I can understand. That was an immediate reaction from the, mainly, religious right and their crazy supporters because Oreos decided to openly show support for the queer community by ...photoshopping a multicolored cookie and posting it on Facebook (seriously guys?). And that was dead within about a week or so because I haven't heard jack shit about it since (apparently gays just have more staying power, what can I say?). Even then I didn't really give a shit about what the gay haters boycotted because that just meant more Oreos for me.

I'm not really angry about all the attention the boycott is getting, just annoyed. But more confused than anything else. Why has it taken 7 years to get all this coverage?

I guess I should take it as a sign that marriage equality is gaining more and more ground, which is a good thing. Some of my friends think it's nothing more than politics and that's why it's now a big deal. Another said that the company fired a gay employee and that's why people are being more vocal about it. I tried looking online for anything to support that assumption and I couldn't find it. Perhaps my Google-fu is lacking, but I did however find this article about a women who is suing the corporation for allegedly firing her because she gave birth or because they wanted her to be a stay at home mom. What the fuck Chick-Fil-A? If you want to keep bitches in the kitchen then just sit her next to the fryer but at least let her keep her job.

All I know is shit is starting to get petty now.

And I knew it would. The turning point started with the damn Muppets.

I'm not saying what the Jim Henson Corporation did was petty. I'm talking about Chick-Fil-A's reaction to it. I'm sure by now that everyone's seen the recall signs posted in Chick-Fil-A's windows.

Stolen from Reddit, but it's also all over google.

Because apparently gays getting married is not a Christian value but straight up lying is. Face saving fail all the damn way.

Then I came across this.

OK, that's cute and funny, I'll give you that. Far be it from me of all people to condemn someone for bringing some brevity into this. Lord knows I can hardly take anything seriously without cracking a joke somehow. It's stupid, but it's funny, and I love this dude and his tumblr blog thing to death. He's very silly and comes across as very sweet and I would encourage everyone to follow his website.

But then of course someone had to get buttmad about it in someway. The comment from Addy DelaMorte is obviously mine and I still stand by it. But do you see how this petty crap is already escalating?

Really though, I mean if you're going to do something like that and you really want to piss the restaurant off...go all out with it people! Why pay the establishment you're boycotting? Go bring a bag of McDonalds or KFC in there and seductively feed it to each other. That would really piss them off. You're making a stand, not giving them money, and promoting a completely different eating establishment. Don't half ass it. Besides, their waffle fries taste like shit.

All I know is someone needs to get their shit together so I can go and eat some chick-a-minis without feeling like I'm betraying my community.

I still can't believe it's taken 7 years. 7 fucking years people!

Monday, July 9, 2012

Progress, Anti-Progress And My Car Hates Life

So it's happened. I have sent my short story Wendy Roase to be edited and proof read by this very awesome proof reading friend of mine. Other friends of mine have told me she's very good and quite brutal when it comes to telling you what is wrong and right with your writing. Waiting to hear back on how much I suck.

I found myself fixing little turns of phrases still before sending it to her. I wonder if writers ever truly get done fixing their stories. Or is there just a time that comes when they kind of say fuck it and leave it alone. I feel so sick to my stomach. I kind of get that way with this blog when I do post stories and such, but this is worse. Usually commenters aren't sitting there critiquing every single word and spelling; telling you what should keep and what you shouldn't. Well at least not on this blog, but that probably has more to do with the number of people actually reading it and deciding to comment than anything else. Not saying that I don't like it when people do that, I do enjoy the criticism, it's how you learn.

However with this blog I can include caveats before the story, letting people know what they should expect. I can let them know ahead of time if I was experimenting with something in the story. I decided not to do that this time. I want to put this up as a free e-book to gain more readers and actually get off my ass on this whole 'I-want-to-do-this-for-a-living' thing. I don't intend to include any caveats for the e-book. It just sounds pitying and almost pandering...unprofessional. It might make my anxiety go through the roof but I need to learn to let the chips fall where they may.

On the subject of anti-progress however it seems that my lovely little Acer netbook that I have dubbed 'Tinytop' is dead. She died a week ago at around 1pm I believe. I don't know what happened. I think it might be my fault though. I went to sleep with it by my side, listening to Kerli Koiv and when I woke it was turned off. I had my arm lying halfway on its keyboard. I think it got overheated maybe. Now it won't turn on at all or light up or anything. My friend thinks that it might have something to do with the motherboard. I'm going to take it to Best Buy in a couple of days since I was told that they do free diagnostics on computers. Every so often I go upstairs and open it and hit the power button half expecting it to ding on as if it was saying, "Fooled you!" but it doesn't.

The really shitty thing about this is that all my story lines and plot points were on that thing and I'm afraid that I won't be able to get them back off. There were also pictures for blog entries and a couple of blog challenges that I had saved and even made up. I don't think I'll be getting them back but I'm holding out hope and am currently working on taking everything I remember and putting it in a notebook as a last ditch effort to save all the working titles and shit. Oy vay.

Oh well, I guess this shall teach me. Always, always back up your shit! I had been meaning to get one of those USB stick memory things, but I kept putting it off like an arrogant shit. Now look at my predicament! You'd think that since I love Sex and the City so much I would have learned from Carrie when this happened to her. Hopefully my situation produces a similar outcome and I'm able to get all my things from that computer back. If not....c'est la vie....

In other more horrible news, I'm pretty sure that my car is an evil sentient being from a Stephen King story.

I was taking a fuck it drive down Mountain Road and I hit a little fox. It was this absolutely horrible moment in time where the fox seemed to almost materialize in front of my car and then did this little panic dance before my wheel obliterated it. I didn't even have time to stop. After that I cried for a bit, then turned around and went straight home.

So far this brings my car's death tally up to 3 confirmed kills, 1 bonk and 1 attempt. This sounds really horrible to say, but I'm getting better with dealing with running over animals. The first time it happened was in North Carolina while driving with my two friends. This possum ran across the car side of the road and gave me no time to even try and stop the car. I had to pull over I was crying so hard. My then friends didn't really help though. They kept laughing and making jokes and trying to give me high fives.

The bonk was on the 4th of July a couple of years ago. I was riding down the street and was only going about 15 mph, when this adorable chubby dove flew right in front of my car. I tried hitting the brakes, but I wound up hitting it. However it didn't stop flying. It dipped a bit and then kept going up in the air....unless that was just from the force of my car. I like to think that it survived though.

My co workers in our close knit office got a good laugh at that one. I walked into work forlornly carrying sodas for the party.

Co worker: What's wrong, you look like you've been crying.
Me: I hit a dove...but it flew away, it should be OK right?
C: You killed the symbol for peace...on the 4th of July?
Me: Shut up!

I didn't cry as badly with the fox. I think this is my cars way of desensitizing me to death. That way my human emotions won't get in the way when we inevitably go on a killing spree through Baltimore City, running over flocks of school children and mothers with strollers (my car seems to like small to medium sized mammalian creatures, I'm just picking its type.).

I drove home last night with the windows down, listening to see if my tire was flat. On the way home a deer poked its head up from the bushes as I passed it. I swear through the rushing air and the hum of the engine I heard the car vroom, "Next time."

Monday, July 2, 2012

An Open Letter To All Recent Cannibals

Dear Recent Cannibals,

I've been seeing you in the news a lot lately. A lot. I just recently heard of this today while trying to read about some tampon king in India.

A good bit of you seem to be going for the face. I must ask why. The face is oily and full of acne and blackheads. Then there is the dilemma of facial hair and make up which can't be good as any type of seasoning. The face also houses bitey parts, which if you are intent on doing the biting, getting bitten back can't be good.

I wonder why more of you don't go for other more suitable areas, or at least the jugular to get at that delicious man-juice.

I understand that to the cannibal on the go a quick snag and chew of the face might seem ideal but the face is the equivilant of McDonald's; it's just not good for you. I drew up a diagram for more ideal places to grab bites from, hopefully you'll take this advice.

I would like to apologize for the doll armed odd silhouette, but it was done on a laptop and in MS Paint, it was the best I could do at the time.

Addy DelaMorte