Monday, July 2, 2012

An Open Letter To All Recent Cannibals

Dear Recent Cannibals,

I've been seeing you in the news a lot lately. A lot. I just recently heard of this today while trying to read about some tampon king in India.

A good bit of you seem to be going for the face. I must ask why. The face is oily and full of acne and blackheads. Then there is the dilemma of facial hair and make up which can't be good as any type of seasoning. The face also houses bitey parts, which if you are intent on doing the biting, getting bitten back can't be good.

I wonder why more of you don't go for other more suitable areas, or at least the jugular to get at that delicious man-juice.

I understand that to the cannibal on the go a quick snag and chew of the face might seem ideal but the face is the equivilant of McDonald's; it's just not good for you. I drew up a diagram for more ideal places to grab bites from, hopefully you'll take this advice.

I would like to apologize for the doll armed odd silhouette, but it was done on a laptop and in MS Paint, it was the best I could do at the time.

Addy DelaMorte


  1. Vegan sounds more appealing every day . . .

    Down in Waco, recent news of some dude who began eating his dog on his front porch.

    1. Gah, I read about that! K2 is crazy, it doesn't even feel good when you smoke it.

      That poor dog.


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