Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Jacked Up Pumpkin Cookies

I think the alternative title to this could possibly be, how to bake when you don't have shit in the house.

Ingredients You Would Like To Start With:
3/4 Pumpkin Puree
2 Eggs
1/3 Cup Brown Sugar
1 Teaspoon pie spice with salt


1. Cruise the internet when your sister comes down whining at 2am wanting to bake something. Look up 4 ingredient recipes to make something out of the pie filling she picked to shut her up. Decide on cookies.

2. Realize you have no brown sugar. Look up ways to make your own.

3. Realize you have no molasses.

4. Screw this, we're substituting King Syrup (since King is sweeter and lighter it'll taste kind of different).

5. You don't have a 1/3 cup. Learn 1/3 is 5 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon.

6. Mix in King Syrup...but not with a knife.

7. "Why isn't it working?" Tell impatient teenager to hand over the sugar so you can fix it.

There you go, it should look like that.

8. No pie spice in the house? (For fucks sake) Make your own. 1/2 Teaspoon Cinnamon, 1/4 Teaspoon Ginger, 1/4 Teaspoon Allspice which apparently smells like pizza and almost was rejected by the teenager, and a dash of salt.

9. Add 3/4 (not again! 1/2 cup plus 1/4 cup) pumpkin puree or pie filling.

10. Add eggs.

11. Mix that shit!

Stop 'taste testing' it!

12. Against your better judgement let your sister add 2-3 tablespoons of flour because it looks too thin and gloopy.

13. Facepalm while she tests the consistency on the table.

14. Plop onto baking sheet.

15. Bake 15 minutes while sister watches the oven.

She never gets to bake or cook so she's always really excited and proud when she does. It's cute.

16. Yay cookies!

We turned them into ice cream cookies after they baked.

And there you have it, this is how you take an easy 4 ingredient recipe and turn it into something complicated and with extra steps added along.


  1. Adventures in food -- fun! I had to look up King Syrup. Saw the containers in Philadelphia, but don't think I've teasted it.

    Speaking of missing molasses, have you ever tried ShooFly Pie?

    1. Yes! It's good, but I can only eat so many bites. So sweet. :p No wonder you have to shoo the flies away. haha.

  2. Lol...sounds like what happens when I bake. At least they tasted good, right?


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