It's that time of year, a Festivus for the rest of us is upon us! What better way to air your Festivus grievances than through the computer, you reach a wider audience that way. After all:
Here are my top 5 grievances for the year:
5. Maryland Drivers
I have no clue how many people that visit or read my blog are from Maryland, specifically Baltimore, but no one knows how to drive. Ever. Blinker lights do not exist in this realm. Well actually let me correct that. The lights themselves exist. I know this because my own car has them and I turn them on every time I make a turn. However I believe there is some sort of disease that renders Maryland drivers incapable of lifting their hands over to the blinker handle and turning them on because no one ever uses them. Not when turning or unexpectedly passing in front of you (which would be a lot less unexpected if they used the damn blinker).
Four way stops here also seems to be some sort of hellish free for all where only the bravest drivers who risk their bumpers and the aesthetic integrity of their cars get to actually make their turn. The rest have to wait until all the other cars, and the cars behind those cars, leave. Now I know that I paid the 300 some odd dollars for my driver's ed class, but some of our drivers make me question where they went or if they did.
4. Nobody Knows How To Shut The Fuck Up
I don't know if I've already blogged about this or not, but it's still bothering me so screw it.
I don't understand why so many people seem to be afraid of silence. I agree that sometimes it can be awkward, but most of the time it's nice and relaxing. There's so much noise in day to day life, if you can afford some silence be happy. Even if it's for a few seconds. I have met so many people that seem to talk just to talk and have some noise. And may the Gods help you if you get someone that likes to repeat themselves in different ways so it sounds different every time.
Or the noise makers. You ever met a noise maker before? All whistles, grunts, claps, and squeals. It's like verbal diarrhea. If you have nothing to say then zip it. It's OK not to say anything at all. Try it sometime.
Sometimes I can hardly think with all the noise.
3. Coworkers That Can't Pull Their Own Weight
I'm tired of doing my job...and your job, and your job, and your job at the same time. I just don't understand how these people stay employed. Probably because idiots like me keep fixing mistakes and actually doing the work instead of saying fuck it and letting others fall on their asses. I've noticed that places of employment don't like to fire people because of unemployment pay. Honestly, some people should just be cut loose though. Give up the unemployment money if you have to, it'll make things so much better I swear.
2. I Can Never Find Jeans
This one's lame but I can never seem to find actual denim jeans. Why has stretch denim material infiltrated all female clothing? I don't understand this. I used to have actual denim pants when I was a child in the 90's, in the long, long ago. But no more. Now everything stretches and clings unless it's flared leg jeans. Do men have this problem or do y'all actually get denim?
1. Nobody Talks Enough
*Insert typical 'everyone's on their cellphones all the time' rant here.*
I don't always get to see my friends on the daily. Not a majority of them anyway, not like I used to.
Put those damn phones down! Seriously. At least have one meaningful, full conversation as a group and then check your Facebook. That's all I want. This is the reverse tactic to fill silence of grievance number 4. Awkward silence? Fill it with checking your twitter feed or playing the plethora of apps on your smartphone. The only true problem I have with this is when people get stuck and honestly can't stop dicking around. All questions or talking prompts are met with shrugs and mumbles.
I will admit this grievance is partially a rant about me as it's something I have been working on myself. It's really hard when everyone around you is doing it too though. Then you really get caught up in the internet hole because no one tries to drag you out of it.
I shall end this list of grievances on a happy note. Happy Festivus everyone and may you all succeed in your Feats of Strength!