Monday, December 23, 2013

Time To Air Your Grievances

It's that time of year, a Festivus for the rest of us is upon us! What better way to air your Festivus grievances than through the computer, you reach a wider audience that way.  After all:



Here are my top 5 grievances for the year:

5. Maryland Drivers

I have no clue how many people that visit or read my blog are from Maryland, specifically Baltimore, but no one knows how to drive. Ever. Blinker lights do not exist in this realm. Well actually let me correct that. The lights themselves exist. I know this because my own car has them and I turn them on every time I make a turn. However I believe there is some sort of disease that renders Maryland drivers incapable of lifting their hands over to the blinker handle and turning them on because no one ever uses them. Not when turning or unexpectedly passing in front of you (which would be a lot less unexpected if they used the damn blinker).

Four way stops here also seems to be some sort of hellish free for all where only the bravest drivers who risk their bumpers and the aesthetic integrity of their cars get to actually make their turn. The rest have to wait  until all the other cars, and the cars behind those cars, leave. Now I know that I paid the 300 some odd dollars for my driver's ed class, but some of our drivers make me question where they went or if they did.

4. Nobody Knows How To Shut The Fuck Up

I don't know if I've already blogged about this or not, but it's still bothering me so screw it.

I don't understand why so many people seem to be afraid of silence. I agree that sometimes it can be awkward, but most of the time it's nice and relaxing. There's so much noise in day to day life, if you can afford some silence be happy. Even if it's for a few seconds. I have met so many people that seem to talk just to talk and have some noise. And may the Gods help you if you get someone that likes to repeat themselves in different ways so it sounds different every time.

Or the noise makers. You ever met a noise maker before? All whistles, grunts, claps, and squeals. It's like verbal diarrhea. If you have nothing to say then zip it. It's OK not to say anything at all. Try it sometime.

Sometimes I can hardly think with all the noise.

3. Coworkers That Can't Pull Their Own Weight

I'm tired of doing my job...and your job, and your job, and your job at the same time. I just don't understand how these people stay employed. Probably because idiots like me keep fixing mistakes and actually doing the work instead of saying fuck it and letting others fall on their asses. I've noticed that places of employment don't like to fire people because of unemployment pay. Honestly, some people should just be cut loose though. Give up the unemployment money if you have to, it'll make things so much better I swear.

2. I Can Never Find Jeans

This one's lame but I can never seem to find actual denim jeans. Why has stretch denim material infiltrated all female clothing? I don't understand this. I used to have actual denim pants when I was a child in the 90's, in the long, long ago. But no more. Now everything stretches and clings unless it's flared leg jeans. Do men have this problem or do y'all actually get denim?

1.  Nobody Talks Enough

*Insert typical 'everyone's on their cellphones all the time' rant here.*

I don't always get to see my friends on the daily. Not a majority of them anyway, not like I used to.

Put those damn phones down! Seriously. At least have one meaningful, full conversation as a group and then check your Facebook. That's all I want. This is the reverse tactic to fill silence of grievance number 4. Awkward silence? Fill it with checking your twitter feed or playing the plethora of apps on your smartphone. The only true problem I have with this is when people get stuck and honestly can't stop dicking around. All questions or talking prompts are met with shrugs and mumbles.

I will admit this grievance is partially a rant about me as it's something I have been working on myself. It's really hard when everyone around you is doing it too though. Then you really get caught up in the internet hole because no one tries to drag you out of it.

I shall end this list of grievances on a happy note. Happy Festivus everyone and may you all succeed in your Feats of Strength!

Monday, December 16, 2013

Just Wanted To Share Some Pictures

I keep forgetting there is a month between October and December and my vacation wasn't all that recent. Here are some of the pictures that I wanted to share of my trip to the Edgar Allan Poe Museum in Virginia, and my trip to Lake Erie afterwards, before I forget again and it's too awkward to share later.

The first place I went to was the Edgar Allan Poe Museum. They didn't allow you to take pictures of any of the exhibits. I'm not sure if it is because of the flash degrading the exhibits, or because they want to make sure people keep coming to visit and don't just see everything from the comfort of home. They did allow me to take pictures of the garden and outsides.

 
This was from the front part of the garden. There's little origami birds being hung up because:

 
there was a wedding being set up for later that day. I am insanely jealous of whoever got married there. I was told I could visit the shrine at the far end of the photograph, but I felt awkward and wound up tiptoeing around the workers setting up. I just didn't want to intrude with their processes.


They had a bunch of these artsy pumpkins laying around. I like the deviation from normal jack 'o' lanterns.

It was a very interesting museum. The rooms that held the exhibits were small and some of the stuff, like furniture from his boyhood home or one of his writing desks, were within touching distance with no one watching you. I may or may not have touched my fingertip to one of his chairs and then promised myself to never do so again. Point being, it's quite an intimate setting. They had a lot of information on him and I learned a good bit. I was amazed at how little I knew of this really awesome author.

I know, I'm a bad goth.

For instance, Poe is considered the father of the modern mystery or detective stories. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the author who wrote Sherlock, was influenced greatly by him. Poe also did a lot of work in the science fiction genre as well. He basically reinvented the genre. Apparently Poe was also a bit of a bitch. If I remember correctly from one of the exhibits, he would routinely give bad book reviews and basically tear stories apart in one of the editorials he wrote for.

The same building that housed all of his science and science fiction accomplishments had an upstairs with a bunch of artistic interpretations of Poe's visage donated throughout the years to the museum. Honestly if you're ever in Virginia near the Poe Museum you should visit it. Walking through it takes about an hour and it's worth it if you're interested in learning more about Poe. I've only read a couple of things from him and now I want to read everything he's written.

While in Virginia I swung by their huge ass historical society. I only had time to go through one exhibit because when I was done they were closing in five minutes. It was an exhibit of Virginia from past to present and it took two hours. There was so much to take in that after a while I kind of stopped reading every little prompt they threw my way. I did make a point to at least look at all the exhibits though. I would love to go back there and go through again to read the stuff I had to miss, as well as the other collections they had.

 
I thought this was neat. One of the signs said that this is one of the few historically accurate paintings of Matoaka, also known as Pocahontas. This painting would have been after she married John Rolfe and changed her name to Rebecca. A lot of the paintings of her are very white washed and depict her as looking like a white person. This one was restored from the original by an artist whose name escapes me because I suck.

While I was in Erie I visited the Presque Isle State Park to visit Lake Erie. The park is really beautiful and huge. It has 11 beaches in all. My friend and I walked for about two miles looking at the view before I realized that the Lake Erie side is on the left and Presque Isle Bay is on the right.


This is some weird pod covered in tiny red bugs. My friend thought it was a bird, and I think she needs glasses.


A view of the bay.

There was a small walkway we found:


It overlooked some kind of marsh. As you walked up there were engravings in the wood which stated:

"The feather unto heavens will soar with the water at my feet to humbly flow with the balance of nature as my guide. ~ Manitou the Great Spirit."

 
 
 

To be honest, I enjoyed this side of the park more than the Lake Erie side.


Lake Erie. My thumb and I were somewhat unimpressed. I mean it was huge, and very pretty on that side as well to be sure. But the bay side was much prettier to me.

There are more pictures in my imgur album.







Wednesday, December 4, 2013

And I Promised Myself I'd Never Be Lazy Again...

Wow, a month. Nice.

Being as I do not have access to pictures because I'm at work, I can't blog what I wanted to originally blog...a month ago. So that will have to wait. However, I just can not sit by and let my blog wither away into procrastination land. I also wanted to take advantage of the fact that ever since my workplace switched computers and software, no one has noticed that the employees can get on the internet from their cubicles. I think I'm the only one that has figured out that all the blocks are down so far. Probably because I'm the only one who gets bored enough to dick around on the internet knowing full well that you can't do anything on it besides get onto client websites...well until now that is.

I thought I'd leave you with a mention that I'm still alive, a sorry for not updating, and some random thoughts gleaned from spending 8 hours here all alone at night, 3 nights a week. Such a cop out post, I know.

*****

Sometimes I wonder how appropriate it would be to create envelope art for the debt companies I owe to with the words 'Fuck you' hidden throughout the art. What would be even funnier is if they thought it was pretty enough to keep and hang up somewhere for everyone to see.

*****

When I hear people talking from behind a door or from far away, it totally sounds like they're talking Simlish from the Sims. When I hear them get excited I can't help but picture them with a green diamond above their heads and flailing their arms around. Then I wonder if they have red minuses or green pluses above their heads.

*****

I want to know how much trouble I could honestly get into if I stole a book from Ikea.

I went with my friends and in the room setups they just have random books. They're not for sale, they're just props donated by people to use throughout the fake rooms. They get no revenue for them and the lines are self checkout, what could they possibly do? I'd pay them if they let me. Some are in a different language (it's mainly Ikea language), and that's just neat. ....And this is how you know my book obsession has gone too far.

*****

Sometimes I don't think I'm real. Then sometimes I think I'm too real. Or maybe I should say there are instances in which everything is not so much hyper realistic, but hyper realized.

For instance, once when I was younger I was sitting on my grandma's couch, watching a movie. I was kind of spacing out and drawing, looking up every so often to check on the plight of the main characters. I had a pear in front of me as a snack. I stopped drawing to take yet another bite and it was like I was eating it for the first time. Like I was seeing everything for the first time.

It's somewhat hard to explain. It feels like an alien being has taken over you and is just experiencing life. Everything is so new and odd, even though you've experienced it before. You go into a sort of daze. It's usually not too long.

After I had come back to myself, sometimes I would touch things or eat food that was before me to see if I would feel that way again. I wouldn't. That would just perplex me until I shrugged it off and forgot about it.

Like I said, it's weird. I wonder if anyone has ever experienced that before.