Wednesday, December 31, 2014

New Year, New Timeline

Darryl looked over at Chrissy's drawing. The eight year old was happily humming to herself as she drew with her classmates. While the other kids were drawing colorful little houses and animals, Chrissy was busy drawing person after person. One of them had the title 'Mom' but most of them resembled her classmates with one difference. Where eyes should have been were big, black holes. The only hint of color were tiny pinpricks of red in the center. By the way Chrissy was bearing down on her crayon, Darryl assumed it was not just an absence of color but a depth she was trying to convey. Eyeless sockets.

Darryl pulled up one of the little, plastic chairs at the drawing table and sat next to her, hands resting on his knees as he watched her start a new drawing, intrigued.

"What are you drawing Chrissy?" 

"It's Samantha."

Darryl observed her in silence a bit longer as she picked up a bright pink and drew her classmate's skirt, then used a light gray for her shirt. He watched with interest while Chrissy finished the head and the brown hair of her friend, then reached yet again for her black crayon. She completed the first outer ring of black for one eye, pressing down hard, when her abused crayon finally broke into two sending the bottom half skittering across the table. Before Chrissy could get up to retrieve her piece Darryl picked up a blue crayon and handed it to her.

"I think this is the color of Samantha's eyes, or do you think it should be a lighter blue?"

Chrissy shook her head, "No, it's black and tiny red. Just like everyone else's"

"But Samantha doesn't have black and red eyes. Is this a different Samantha?"

"No, it's the same. Her eyes are black with tiny, little red. That's how everyone's eyes are."

"My eyes aren't like that are they? I thought they were brown." 

Darryl arched his eyebrows and looked up wide-eyed to the sky as if he could see his own eyes without a mirror. Instead of smiling or laughing, Chrissy just looked at him with no expression never taking her eyes off of his.

"No, yours aren't like that. Yet."
You can make your own conclusions as to what exactly is happening to people in Chrissy's universe. I got inspired for this one shot story by a mistake I made on my weird art scratch board my sister got me for Christmas. Apparently you're supposed to scratch at the gray areas instead of the black areas and now I have a really crazy looking puffin.
Or a really neat looking one. Maybe a bit of column A and a bit of column B?

Speaking of universe's, I've been reading up on a weird theory roaming around the interweb that our timeline has joined another timeline. Or another has joined ours. Something like that. It started with someone talking about the Berenstain Bears. I think it originated from 4Chan's paranormal board. There are two groups of people. One group swears up and down the name was Berenstein and they've always pronounced it either 'steen' or 'stine'. The other group says they're nuts, it's always been 'stain', pronounced likewise, and ever shall it stay. Now there's another thing that people are talking about within the same topic. Instead of Interview With The Vampire it used to be Interview With A Vampire. Yet everything you look up says otherwise (that it's 'the vampire' and 'stain'). People have even hardcore denied the 'stain' spelling and went to look for old books, or re watched opening scenes for the Bear's TV show, to see what they remembered was wrong and it was the other that was correct.

This has led some people to believe that there were two separate time lines. One where it was 'stain' and 'a' and another where it was 'stein' and 'the'. This group also thinks that someone, I think the government or some group, has gone back to change the books and such to fit whichever time line's past their old timeline crashed into. The other group still thinks they're nuts. I seem to be in an entirely different group so perhaps we should be adding yet another timeline to the mix.

When I was a child I distinctly remember it being spelled Berenstein yet being pronounced Berenstain. I even pointed out the weird pronunciation to my grandmother once, asking her why it wasn't pronounced  'stine' or 'steen' since it was spelled that way. I remember her shrugging and just saying it was pronounced 'stain'. I also remember Anne Rice's novel/movie/whatever as being 'a' and not 'the'.

You can absolutely chalk this up to a combination of shitty memory, adults not understanding children's questions, and my memory being influence by the way I talk and pronounce things. It's completely possible that I just thought the cursive 'a' looked like an 'e' and got confused. It's also possible that my grandmother misunderstood what my little kid self was rambling about and just pointed out that it was pronounced 'stain' yet neglected to clarify that it was indeed spelt that way as well. I've also noticed that when I say Interview With A Vampire out loud, it kind of sounds like Interview With The Vampire. Instead of pronouncing it 'ayy' I say 'uh', and instead of saying 'thee' I say 'thuh' (because pronouncing it 'thee' is weird unless you're specifically emphasizing it). If you say that somewhat quickly (or even normally) it comes out as Interview With The Vampire, so this may be a reason why I and other people that say it like that were never corrected. Shitty memory and not paying attention can also explain the word change for the movie and book as well.

Either way it's kind of neat to think about even if you are with the latter of the two groups and think the former is crazy pants all the way. I did read some one's response on some forum to all of this who thought that someone traveled to the past to change something which is why one of the time lines unraveled and joined this one. All that does is lead me to ask if there are other differences people remember. Also, who are you time traveler? What insignificant thing did you alter to make such insignificant changes?

I hope everyone that reads this has a Happy New Year and gets to do lots of fun stuff. I will be staying at work having a small work party with my late night crew since we all work until midnight anyway (squaresville I know, but I smuggled booze so not that bad). I also hope that I meet you in the same timeline next year with no weird changes. Party hard but stay out of any weird time machines whether they be blue boxes driven by madmen or look like really nice hot tubs. Better stay away from wardrobes to other dimensions and gateways with fractions as well.

Which timeline are you from?

Thursday, December 25, 2014

The Terror Of The Eve

It was midnight exactly and Tristan had just gotten off work. She logged off her computer and stretched every limb while her relief logged on. Her quick hands gathered all her belongings and shoved them into her worn messenger bag, gently pushing them down so the top would Velcro close.

"So sorry you have to work through to Christmas, I hope the night goes by quickly for you." She called over her shoulder to her grumbling co worker as she sprinted out the door.

Heavy purse strapped to her shoulder and hands jammed into her pockets for warmth, Tristan walked through the breezeways of the now deserted office buildings to the parking lot. Teeth chattering, she opened her car door, throwing her purse on the passenger seat then herself into the driver's. She turned the key and immediately drove out of the parking lot, not caring to wait one second longer for the engine to heat up. Waiting for the light to turn Tristan noticed the light fog down the road to her left that led to home. When the light turned green she palmed the wheel and wondered which was more of a pain in the ass to drive in, fog or snow. 

The moment she drove onto the highway Tristan was struck by how bright all the lights were. She had driven home in fog before and this part of the highway in particular was always pretty dim. Driving onward she noticed that not only were all the street lamps exceptionally bright, but there seemed to be more of them lighting the way than normal. A strange sense of fear began to encircle her thoughts, nipping at the edges of her mind. This road was more curvier than she remembered, the turns she was taking either curved too sharply or went the other way. There were also a large number of cars parked on the side of the road. Their interiors dark and their engines turned off. The signs, however, were the same and it was their sameness that urged her on despite the foreignness of the road she traveled. 

It wasn't long before she found the exit, her exit, with all it's familiarities. She found her foot subconsciously pushing harder on the gas pedal, urging the car towards its destination. At first she was happy to be on the correct path again but five minutes of driving, and no actual exiting, later and her happiness turned to a frustrated worry. The exit was much too long. Unable to turn around she kept driving. Another five minutes later and Tristan was nearly in tears. Not only was she still on this exit but her surroundings had started to loop. She drove on by the same signs and markers. At one point Tristan memorized the license plate and model of one of the cars. She passed it three times before she finally allowed the scream that was building inside her to come out.

She beat on her steering wheel and, finding an open spot on the right, parked on the side of the road. Her car jerked into position as she angrily slammed on the brakes. She kicked her door open and jumped out, intent on knocking on every car window until she could hopefully find an owner that could answer her questions. Tristan never even stepped away from the side of her car when the door of the car behind her swung open and a nervous looking man stepped out.

"Please get back in your car, ma'am." He said, clutching the top of his door and looking around, "Trust me, just get back in and try to sleep through the night."

"What is going on?" Tristan said.

She folded her arms but one of her hands found its way to her throat, massaging her voice box. Their voices didn't just sound thick out here in the fog, it felt thick. Nothing was clear outside. Neither sound nor vision or thought. 

"This happens every Christmas Eve, I think anyway." The man shouted. In the growing fog Tristan could see he was already getting back into his car. "I've been stuck here about three times now. Just try to go to sleep or at least keep your eyes closed, and don't get out of your car." 

The dulled thud of the door shutting reaching Tristan's ears. She lingered in her spot turning slowly to see all around her. Along the road other cars gently shifted as their occupants strained to get a better look at the newcomer who had dared to step outside. The car behind her honked its horn. The sound was sharp and clear. It cut through the fog and her entrancement. Shivering more from fright than cold she heeded the man's advice and climbed back into her car, making sure all her doors were locked. 

She hugged herself, placing her hands under her armpits for warmth. The gas gauge read quarter full. Tristan wondered how long her car would stay running. She reached down to turn the heat up and looked at the clock. The neon green of its digital face read 12:59 then changed to 1:00. Her car died. Before she could react there rose a clatter that came from everywhere at once. A clanging of bells mixed with a stamping of hooves and gnashing of teeth. The street lamps swayed with a wind that didn't, or couldn't, shake the cars. Lights once too bright to look at dimmed until they were off completely. Tristan pressed her palms to her ears and strained against the seat belt she left on to look up at the sky. What little light there was left from the stars was blotted out by a growing shadow. The more she tried to look the more her car began to shake until it was rocking back and forth. Tristan grabbed onto the steering wheel and the door handles, anything to keep herself steady, as the car rocked from side to side almost tipping each time. Her windshield had a crack that was slowly making its way from one side to the other. In her panic and above the noise she could vaguely make out the sound of a car horn honking again and again. Tristan threw herself back into her seat and curled in a fetal position. Just sleep, just sleep, just sleep. She repeated the mantra over and over in her head as the car rocked less and less.

Bright sunlight and the sound of voices woke Tristan up. She had wrapped her arms around her head in her sleep so tightly she gave herself a headache. Slowly she unbuckled her seat belt and got out of her car, holding her head and squinting in the sun. Behind her a group of people comprised of drivers and passengers of the other vehicles were helping the nervous man from last night rock his car until it tipped back upright. Tristan blushed a deep crimson knowing this had to be some sort of punishment for helping her. The crowd began to dissipate, everyone trying not to look at each other as they quietly rushed to leave. The man looked over at her and Tristan opened her mouth to apologize. He shook his head.

"Don't talk about it. It's best not to talk about it. Just go home....and maybe in the future get your boss to take you off the night shift if you can."

He got in and shut the door then revved his engine and pulled out, stopping briefly by her side to nod at her before driving away. Tristan looked at her watch half expecting it to be broken but delighted to find it working. It was 1:00pm. Her family was due at her house an hour ago and she was still twenty minutes away. She buckled up almost shouting from happiness when she turned on her own engine to find her gas gauge read full, and once more when her exit connected back to the highway home. She drove over the speed  limit and her mood darkened like the skies were. Soon it looked dark as night again. Even though there were other cars driving around her there was no sound. The more she drove the more the crack in her windshield lessened silently repairing itself with every passing mile, a small comfort to her. At one point at the halfway mark she had pulled to the side of the road, too perturbed by the silence that enveloped everything to go on. She had needed to hear something, anything. The sound of a passing truck, a bird chirp, even the sound of her own hands clapping which she found she couldn't hear while in her car. Tristan stepped out on the small shoulder cautious of the other drivers only to be greeted with blinding sunlight and to find out she was the only person on the road. A sound from in her car caused her to turn around and she saw her gas meter slowly start to deplete and the crack was beginning to come back. She got back in at once and drove home, not stopping again until she was in her drive way.

Once safely inside her house Tristan was overcome by dizziness. She stumbled to her couch next to the door and made it in time to pass out. Tristan woke up to the sound of the door ringing repeatedly and frantic knocking. She looked out the peephole and saw the faces of her family. Tristan took a look at her watch to see it say 12:00am, Christmas. Groggy and confused, she opened the door slowly to have it flung open and out of her hand by family members eager to get in out of the cold.

"Boy Peach, you look rough." Her mother said, inspecting every inch of her face with her eyes.

"Yeah, it's so weird. Last night I..." But Tristan stopped when she heard the now all too familiar sound of cracking glass. She took a glance outside to see the crack once again start its slow creep across her windshield and she knew it was a warning. She looked back at her mom, closing the door with a shrug, "Just a rough night I guess."


I've spent way too much time reading about alternate dimensions and reality glitches on the Chans while bored at work before I have to leave. There were a lot of cars on the side of the highway home. It was odd. I couldn't stop thinking about how creepy my drive home had the opportunity to become. I also was a bit inspired by folktales of the Great Hunt which is supposed to be around Halloween ... I think, but don't quote me. Oh well, Tim Burton also combined Halloween and Christmas time so screw it.

To all my pagans a belated Happy Yule, Merry Christmas to my Christians. Happy Hanukkah and Kwanzaa, and to the atheists I hope you had a good day today. I also hope no one found themselves at the mercy of any man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves last night while out on the road. Or any other being for that matter.

I hope that everyone got everything, or most things, that they wanted today. I got gift cards, art supplies, and an elf that poops jelly beans among other things. Art, money, and candy mixed with low brow humor. My family knows me so well.

Another thing. It is so weird to write a short story about a scenario that takes place mainly in a car and have to repeatedly write the word car over and over again. It almost starts to sound too odd after a while. I kept feeling the need to switch it up even though there wasn't a real need to. Car, car, car, car, car, car, driver, vehicle, truck, car. Blech.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Birthday Blast From The Past

I have absolutely no concept of time. I can tell time, to be sure, I just don't quite have a concept of time. Things that happened two months ago I can sometimes mistake for happening two years ago and vice verse. I like to blame it on a spell I did years back in college to make time go faster, but to be honest I've been shitty with time for forever and a day. Two years, eleven months, and twenty eight days ago (or at least that's what the e mail told me) I sent a letter to myself through Future Me. I completely forgot about it because I thought it had been past the almost three year mark and the e mail never went through. Surprise of all surprises when my cellphone dings on my way back from a birthday brunch with a new e mail and I open to find this:

Dear FutureMe,
First off, Happy Birthday! What is it like knowing you are one year from 30?

Aww thank you past me...well...ummm kind of not happy about that last part.

Secondly, we *are* still alive right? What happened on December 21st of 2012? Also tell me you didn't let this year go by without a kickass birthday party. I mean, the apocalypse was the next fucking day for chrissakes. How many people acted like idiots and did you get nervous at all when the clock struck midnight and it was technically the next day when the world was supposed to end?

Well that's morbid. Oh wait, right right, the whole rapture thing that happened.

Secondly part B, did you laugh at the people that thought the world was going to end even though you yourself were having a secret anxiety attack all day and stayed up until half past midnight when it was technically December 22nd?

Secondly part C, that will be our little secret. ;)

Maybe I worried a little bit. I'm a pagan and back then I was border lining atheism, you know my ass isn't going up with any of you God fearing Christians should the rapture come.

Third, for the love of all that is fucking holy tell me we at least finished writing a book, doesn't even have to be sold yet, just finished. Just one and we'll be happy...or at least I will...or you will because you are now me even though I am now you talking to the future then me listening to the past then you..... >_> Also did we ever quit that stupid ass telephone secretary job or get another one that is even better? Seriously, that place sucks, don't tell me that you somehow stuck it out for another three fucking years dudette; I mean damn.

Well I certainly set some lofty goals for myself. Actually I am almost finished a book of flash fiction, I just really need someone to edit it or help me edit it. There also is that embarrassment of a short story on Kindle.

No I have not quit my stupid ass secretary job. In fact I am blogging from it right now and dodging phone calls from a stupid teen prank caller who has set it upon themselves to tell me how much of a 'fat ass' and a 'nigger' I am, despite never having actually seen me (not that it would make it better, it just adds another layer of ignorance and stupidity). Ahhh, youth. This has to be karmic payback for all those times I prank called sex phone hot lines when I was six. Maybe a bit older. I don't know, I was in elementary school.

...Ahhh, youth.

Also on the topic of work and progress, how is your blog doing?

Not that bad truth be told. Could use more readers and updates but I'm working on that. Really it comes down to the updating most likely. Can't read something that's not there.

Fourth, did you ever take that vacation in October of 2012? I know you suck at doing shit and saving money. If you didn't, fucking shame on you! That would have made 4-5 Samhain's we didn't do anything for.

I would have but Hurricane Sandy decided to come in and literally rain on my parade. Lesson learned. In hurricane season I most likely might want to stop trying to go to places located on the east coast like Salem and Boston, both of which had to be evacuated if I remember correctly. I should be remembering that correctly because I lost half of what I paid for the hotel room. I was so desperate to get the hell away from everyone I was hell bent on driving through a hurricane to get a 416 mile buffer zone. Sadly that never happened.

Fifth, have we changed at all in the past three years? Have you grown to become the person you wanted to be? Are you more happier now? Have you moved into your own place and are you healthier both physically and mentally? Did you ever figure your shit out spiritually?

I mean, all in all, what kind of person do you think you've become?

Getting super deep past me, yeesh. Why do I ask myself loaded questions?

I think I have changed. While I'm still stupid as hell, I've become a bit more mature and am learning to forgive and move on more and more. I'm also working on controlling my anger and getting rid of my anxieties.

The last part is kind of hard because I don't have money or insurance to see a doctor or anything. The shitty insurance I did have ran out. I would like to see some sort of therapist to be honest. The title of this blog is not really a lie. There is a high chance I have undiagnosed ADD and my inability to concentrate and pay attention is affecting my life, so I would like help with it in some way, but I kind of have to do what I can by myself. It sucks but what can you do? I just deal with it.

I am getting better mentally and physically, so that's good. I am in the process of getting rid of my debt through bankruptcy so I can start saving to get my own place. The good thing is my credit has always been either not there or kind of crappy. The bankruptcy isn't hurting much because I've never owned a credit card and I've always had to find ways to get around that. I came from nothing, I went below nothing because of the debt, now I'm going back to nothing. Nothing I can deal with. Crippling medical debt, not so much.

Almost embarrassing to say I am still in the process of figuring my shit out spiritually. I am still a pagan so at least that is figured out. I'm just not quite sure of the path I am taking. So far I've nailed it down to some sort of eclectic pagan with Norse pagan leanings. But who knows? I don't think we're ever really done learning and growing in a sense. People have changed spiritual paths late in life after spending their whole lives devoted to one. Shit happens, man.

All in all, I think I am on my way to being the type of person I envision myself being. Just not quite there yet. Which is ok.  

Also did we ever find a red hair dye that gives us the color we want while being permanent?

I am partial to Garnier Nutrisse number 66 True Red Pomegranate. It's very pretty. My acquaintance had an even prettier red, I just can't remember what it was right now. None of that truly matters though because I am in the process of growing my hair out so I can bleach it white and dye everything but the bangs/fringe teal.

If that looks to blech, I'll go back to red.

Sixth, whatever happened about that day at the beach? Remember? The deer, the cat and the star? (Hey, that sounds like a neat name for a book!)

This is referring to the time I went to the beach near my grandmother to ask the Gods for help for a friend who had cancer and was going through a hard time. On my way there I saw a baby deer cross the road, saw a bunch of cats near the beach where I was doing the offering, and after I was finished I witnessed a shooting star.  Long explanation short, all good omens.

Before the year was out my friend was in a new relationship with someone she truly loves, is in a better frame of mind, and is doing well with her cancer and its treatment. I don't really talk to her much now a days, if at all, but I'm happy for her.

And it totally sounds like a good name for a book. Sounds like a title C. S. Lewis would jive with.

I shall catch you on the flipside.

I am a dork of the highest degree.

  Just realized how odd that is to end the letter like this, of course I'll catch you on the flipside since I am you, but then again that'd be kind of hard unless you made a time machine and we could hang out together.....Hey! did we make a time machine!!??

Very lofty goals.

Also, has Jeremy ever tried contacting you? Please tell me you were smart and strong enough to say no and enough was enough. I mean we have gotten over his ass right? Because he was a fucking douche.

Yes he is a douche and he is gone for good to be a douche to some other poor unsuspecting person...just not this person who is blogging.

Speaking of SO's...are we still a virgin? Because this is a long time to remain a virgin. I'm not judging you or anything, but I honestly think that if you still have your V card,'re just doing this for shits and giggles now aren't you?


I've never found the right man, honestly. I also sometimes think that as the years go by I just get gayer and gayer....then a really cute guy walks by (or is that bi? Haha.). I might stay a virgin when it comes to men forever. Que sera, sera.

Oh and also....visit Penny's dad. I mean that's going to get to you three years too late, but you know what I mean. I know you're going to dwell on it now that it's written out and do it...right?

Ok..I'm seriously going to go now.

Love and peace from the past.


Monday, December 15, 2014

Down By The River

The night was calm but Chris drove through the winding roads with a barely contained fervor. He was partially elated that he had managed to get off work early but mostly annoyed. Halloween was his night and he always seemed to get roped into working whenever he made plans for it. His steering was smooth but his leg was tense and his foot held in the air above the gas pedal; something he did to keep himself from speeding whenever he got too excitable. The car he was driving coasted on the mainly downward sloping roads, every time it began to slow down too much he risked tapping the pedal to get it back up to speed. He looked at the clock, ten minutes until midnight.

The car approached a wide bridge. Chris slowed down his car and pulled over to the shoulder with five minutes to spare. He wouldn't be able to do any proper rituals he noted, but something small should suffice. Next year, he promised himself as he turned off all the lights to the car and stepped out, I'll make sure to ask for off. And I won't answer the phone when work calls.

Chris took a minute to let his eyes adjust to the darkness and looked at his surroundings. The bridge had no lights to offer and thus was just as dark as any other country road. There was no one around and he saw no waiting cars on the sides of the bridge where the police sometimes laid in wait for speeders. Seeing that he was truly alone, Chris put his keys in his pocket and shut the door with a kick. He hopped over the guardrail to the footpath that led to the bridge's side piers. He may have been alone, but walking the length of the rail and past where the woods began still creeped him out too much.

As he walked away from the rail, a chill swept over him. Chris stopped in his tracks and turned around. Nothing. There was nothing. And there will continue to be nothing because you are alone, dumbass. He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. Halfway to the pier he stopped again. There was a definite feeling of being followed that he couldn't shake. But every time he thought he felt someone staring there was no one to be found, and every time he thought he heard another person's footsteps it always coincided with his own walking so he brushed it away as another trick of the mind.

Finally he reached the pier and looked at his watch, two minutes past midnight. Chris rolled his eyes. Too much time wasted looking around for stalkers that don't exist. He sat down on the bench and looked out past the vast stretch of water to the houses on the other side. Small dots of light from windows where people were still up. Probably having a party. Probably having a better night than I am. Probably because they had the balls to tell their bosses 'no' when asked to work, yet again, on a day off. He sat for a couple of minutes lost in his negative reverie and would have sat for a couple more when he heard the sound of shoes hitting pavement. Spinning around he once again saw no one.

"Now I know I'm going crazy." He said aloud.

Chris turned around and brought his attention to the river in front of him instead of the houses beyond it. Focusing on the soft sound of the waves below, he tried to let go of any negativity. Long gone was his excitement to do any sort of spell or ritual, and he had forgotten what he had wanted to do before anyway, so he decided instead to meditate and let go of all the frustration the work day had brought. He scooched back on the bench allowing his long, thin legs to cross with ease. Clasping his hands together on his lap, he closed his eyes and practiced his breathing. For a  while everything seemed to go well, he was becoming more relaxed with every exhale and had forgotten about any footsteps he thought he had heard. The more he meditated the more images flitted in and out of his mind's eye. At first he tried to ignore them, Chris was always told to just let any strange thoughts just come and go while meditating, but the more he let them pass the clearer they became. Soon there were clear pictures of young men and women laying on their backs in the street. Dead eyes set in blood bathed faces stared at him. Their lips were frozen open in a silent plea for help they would never again utter.

Chris opened his eyes and wiped away the tears that were forming. He mouthed a silent 'What the fuck?' as he unfolded his legs. He had never had any sort of experience like that while meditating before. Throwing his hands into the air, he brought them back down on his thighs with a slap and got up.

"That's it, I'm going home." He said to no one, "Between the footsteps and bad vibes, now this. I am not about to become a slasher victim from a horror movie."

He jogged back to his car, not bothering to stop and look around him. He hopped back over the guard rail, this time even further from the woods then he had previously, and ran to his cars unlocked door. A quick look into the back seat to confirm he was still alone and Chris threw himself into the driver's seat. He locked the doors and turned the key then froze. An overwhelming smell of rot and river water. From the corner of his eye he saw movement in the passenger seat. Chris turned his head just in time to see the blade held by the bloated corpse fly towards his neck. He opened his mouth to scream but only a wheezing gurgle came out. The dead lips in front of him cracked open from smiling. He stared disbelieving at the degloved hand that gripped the handle of the knife.

"You know, it's not very safe to leave your car doors open." It whispered.

I was supposed to post this on Halloween, but this is just the type of obvious dedication to my blog and my writing that my readers have come to know and love about me.

Sometimes I wish that I could stop myself from thinking of stories when I'm alone on bridges at night, it would make for a decidedly less creepy evening. To be sure it wasn't my fault, I was hearing footsteps even though there was no one there. As you can tell though, thankfully I did not meet my demise from a long dead murderer. Instead I got into my car safely and in time for a cop to stop and ask if I was having car troubles. But I also lock my car doors every chance I get out of habit.

I was however woken up as I tried to fall asleep that night by what felt like a hand tapping my arm from the side of my bed that meets the wall. Fun times. Perhaps I should stop sleeping over top of my Ouija board.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Better Living Through Spelling Mistakes

 photo youreyour.jpg

I can't remember where I found this online but I found it. Probably Pinterest. At first like the many people who shared this I laughed, because not only was this the work of one misjudgment but two. I can understand someone making a spelling mistake like this, it's quite common, but what was the tattooist's problem? It was that last thought that made me think, what if it was meant to be on purpose?

While we're all laughing at this chick, what if she's actually getting the last laugh on us and this tattoo is really just a clever philosophical statement?

Think of it this way.

The tattoo literally says without the contraction "Live you are life" when it probably should say "Live your life". What if it was really "Live, you are life." Notice the comma and strap in because I'm about to go all hippy summer camp motivational speaker on your ass real quick.

You are living, you are breathing, you are literally life personified right now.

That is why spreading hate should be considered a tragedy. This is why we're always sad to see someone waste the life force inside of them. The very essence of life is imbued inside of you which is why you're supposed to take this world by the balls and not go gentle into the good night. We are supposed to rage against the dying of the light.

We were meant to be explorers of the world and make mistakes, to learn from them and forgive. We were meant to socialize and love. Dance, even without music or partners, to the rhythm of the universe until someone can't help but join you. We weren't meant to stay cooped up in front of computer screens succumbing to the anxiety that seems to fester in so many of us, but instead to go out and take in all that we can until we are afraid that we are like vampires and taking in all this living is going to leave our world a dried husk devoid of its earthly essence.

We were not meant to hold back but hurtle ourselves full force into the world. Feel every great and aching emotion fully and completely because that is why we are.

So go out and live, because you are life.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Festival Of Trees 2014

Yesterday was the last day of the Festival Of Trees so I popped on over with a iPhone made of fail to take some pictures before it was over for good. Since my phone was dying by the time I got there I tried to stick to taking pictures of some of the more memorable trees and gingerbread houses. Here are only some of the pictures I took, as always the link to the imgur album is at the bottom of the post with even more pictures.

Wedded Bliss by BB&T

Let It Go by Dankmeyer Prosthetics and Orthotics

Oh, Frozen. I can tell you are going to have a stranglehold on this holiday for years to come.

Rustic Wonderland by Arris, A Design Studio

A Christmas Carnival Game by Harvey Lane Neighbors

This one was actually really cute. You were supposed to spin for your number and then spin for your color and find an ornament with the corresponding color and number combo, then you read the Christmas fortune on the back. 

Sweet Dreams by Baltimore Marriot Waterfront

Close-up of the note on the bed.

Everything Is Awesome by

I think I liked this Lego tree out of all of them. Except for the tree that was made entirely out of block legos (In the imgur album link).

Hon Tree by Fandango Productions

My Scouts Nightmare Before Christmas Tree

Close-up of some of the ornaments.

My perler bead bat I made for their tree.

Which totally looks like a bat by the way, my Scouts don't know what they're talking about. Our tree wasn't sold yet by the time I got there, but hopefully someone grabbed it up before the day ended. They worked so hard and it was such a cute theme. 

Mother Nature Boy: A Very WWE Christmas by  Kennedy Krieger Institute - International Center for Spinal Cord Injury

Spinal cord injury specialists...quite fitting.

Rest of the photos can be found in the Imgur album here.

I hope everyone that was able to go to the Festival Of Trees had fun. See you next year. ....At the festival I mean...not on the blog. Although this blog will still be around next year so I'll see you then too.