Thursday, January 22, 2015

Hindsight On Hindsight 103

I like that this is becoming a thing on this blog. Much like what Activia does for Jamie Lee Curtis, Hindsight is apparently keeping my postings regular. It's nice.


The more of these I do, the more I'm noticing this is turning into a more verbose Photo Recap with less photos and no lol speak. Not that I have anything against that, quite the opposite. I just now feel obliged to acknowledge it and say if you watch American Horror Story you should absolutely read the photo recaps done by Price Peterson. They're hilarious, I read them after each episode.


With that said, it's time to turn off Clarissa Explains It All and make sure non of your guests lay a finger on your Butterfinger BB's and, as always, spoilers ahoy my friends.


The third episode starts the day after Andy's kiss with Lolly, who now fully believes Becca's claims about time jumping, eye fucking her new purple Doc's and exclaiming her love for them.



 photo damnfinepairofshoes.png

Is it weird that I'm jealous of both a pair of shoes, and the owner of said shoes? I think odd thoughts like that should be exempt if it refers to Lolly-pop.
***

Becca and Lolly start talking about the kiss from Andy and Becca tells her that he's never kissed her like that in the 4 years that they were dating/engaged/getting to know one another carnally. Thank you VH1 for proving that the 90's makes everything better, even kisses.
***

I'm siding with Lolly-pop, Becca. In a store full of movies you have to pick a modern one she's never seen to describe a damn kiss? ...Ok, ok, Notebook gets the damn exception.

Oh Gods, that movie was seriously just so good.
***

So Becca thinks maybe she was brought back to be with the 90's version of Andy. Does she think that things will never change and the 90's will never end? Because I did, and let me tell you it's not true.

People change, sometimes not always for the better. Sean gets angry and Andy gets boring. How will just your presence alone stop that from happening if it couldn't before? Becca is, however, becoming more proactive in her past which could absolutely change things for the future. I mean, it already is. Now she has a possible future, barring that she does not go back to that job of course, where she doesn't work for Simon. Her future is once again in flux, and so is everyone else's with it. Well, leading up to the next 20 years of course.
***

Lolly's name is Lavine/Laveen/Screw it? This is like finding out that Kramer's name was Cosmo. It oddly fits, but it's just weird and kind of funny.
***




 photo lavineandherboss.png

Part of me wants to ship Lolly and her dorky boss. Possibly because I go for the dorks, but also because I could so see those two getting together if they were in a romantic comedy set up where the girl sees what she was missing all along and goes for the weirdo instead of the obviously hot Keanu Reeves-esque man she thought was 'the one'.

Sorry, Neo.
***

Becca goes over to Andy "Dungeons and Dragons" Kelly's to talk about the kiss and he tries to renege on his feelings.

Oh Andy, don't be the Chaotic Evil character in a campaign full of Lawful Good players.
***

This moment is once again interrupted by Melanie who tries to talk about Becca's loss of a job.



 photo goawaychick.png

Becca's new job is to try and steal your man Melanie, now get the hell out of the way!
***

This Melanie bitch just used the word blessed in a sentence about working for Simon and I almost threw up. I'm so...blessed... I have yet to eat anything spicy today.
***



 photo itsatrap.png
Dat eyebrow arch, Mmph!

Screw Admiral Ackbar memes. This should be the new 'It's a trap!' face. This is why you don't say plans and epiphanies out loud. Use your inside your head voice, Becca.
***
Bitchy Phoebe shows up to check on Becca at her family's request because they're all worried about her. Lolly winds up inviting her to Nervous Lois from the office's birthday party that nobody really wants to go to.

What the hell is even going on? If a rumble between Becca and Melanie happened, Phoebe would definitely not have your back. She'd just stand on the sidelines and complain about how poor and common this made Becca look. You know she would!

Classic Bitchy Phoebe.
***

Holy fuck Zima. That's a brand I haven't heard of in a long while.





Zima, for when you literally have no other choice and because you can't get drunk on water.
***
I think the only thing that Phoebe's ever reevaluated in her life was her nail polish.
***
The 'Monica' is not the same haircut as the 'Rachel' Phoebe and I will fucking fight you.
***

That's a good toast. I frequently hope for nights I can't remember.
***

Nervous Lois is a slut, I love her already.
***





 photo totaltrap.png

I knew Melanie was going to suck the fun out of this game of 'I Never'. Mainly because I caught a glimpse of the previews but also because it's her and I bet she feels 'blessed' that Becca picked this drinking game.
***

Holy shit, Bitchy Phoebe saved the day with her home wrecking past! Didn't see that one coming up, and this is why I love sluts.
***

Back at the video store Lolly is supposed to be working at tonight, Keanu stops by for a visit and gets almost pressured into renting El Topo by Lolly's boss whose being all weird about it.




 photo eltopohauntedface.png
Something's haunting my dreams alright.

I think I just simultaneously figured out why I miss video stores, and why Netflix and avoiding human contact is sometimes the better choice.
***

Sebastian is so fucking lonely.
***

Back at the party, Melanie keeps trying to get Becca to open up while Lolly now thinks that this is the time to switch focus to her and Jamie. Becca is getting shafted on almost all sides. She should have drank more.
***
I think we threw 'supposed to' out a long time ago during the opening elevator sequence my tequila flavored Lolly-pop.
***

I did not know the no-local-bar-one-night-stand rule, that is a good rule. Rules akin to that one should be stuck to. If I stuck to rules like that then I probably wouldn't have to feel so weird about going back to the local strip club.

I tell you, you spill a drink on one stripper, con your way into 13 free shots, and ditch the DJ with the girl you promised him a threesome with and suddenly everything's awkward.
***
Note to self: always check the heads of frizzy and curly afro haired people for weed.










 photo hairweed.png
***



 photo pickofthelitterdouchebag.png

"Took a vote on you"
"Pick of the litter"

...Becca, smash that dude with the crystal ball and con your way into 13 free shots.
***

"I want a woman to like me for me, not because I am a huge douchebag."
***



 photo iprefertospoon.png
Spooning's great, but have you tried forking?

I'm now convinced that this dude is what started cuddle parties.
***
Away from the all the potential one night stands for Becca, the groundwork for a potential bromance between Sebastian and Jamie is being laid down. While smoking a joint behind the dumpster at his video store, Sebastian tries to get Jamie to let him be his relationship guru.




 photo faceofaguru.png
This is what a guru looks like, take notes peoples.

***

And a new gorgeous contender steps into Becca's ring.



 photo datsmile.png

This show is starting to slightly remind me of those dating sim type games I play like Harvest Moon.
***

Before Becca can leave with the Gorgeous Contender, she goes to tell Lolly and finds her blabbing to the palm reading waitress about how Becca thinks she knows everything.

Lolly, don't you remember the purple Doc's?
***

I am falling in love with Becca's 'Oh yeah' and 'Oh shit' faces.
***

So Phoebe blew off a blind date with her future husband to seek one night stands with Becca.



 photo ohshit.png

This is the perfect face for someone who is realizing she may have just helped in erasing her future nieces and nephews. I hope you didn't like them too much.
***

Hindsight keeps throwing me for loops on who I do and do not like in it's show. I've gotta say, love Bitchy Phoebe's approach to creepy men.

"I think we're done here. ...That means you can go now."

I think I might need to use that as part of my closing speech to my customers on the phone. Damn lingerers.
***

Fine? Becca, fine? That's all you say before you time out/break up with Lolly?
***

So Lavine/Laveen/I don't care anymore is her last name? It's still has the Cosmo Kramer effect/affect/I give the fuck up.
***

I think that was the quickest end to a friendship break I've ever seen.



 photo onlyaquickie.png

But they were both blitzed so it's understandable.
***

How does keeping two drunk chicks from fighting and messing up your club get someone fired? I don't care, Paige seems like a cool chick so yay for her being in a better job where she doesn't have to hold people's sticky liquor hands.
***
"Well I guess we'll find out."

These almost feel like ominous words considering we know Lolly and Becca already broke up as friends once in their lifetime. But maybe Becca's right. Even though we're not getting to find out yet what happened between them, maybe with both of their determination to stay friends no matter what and to not let the past repeat anymore than it already has it will be different this time.

Maybe they can beat predestination if it was predestined to begin with. Sure, Phoebe's life with her future husband Courtney seems like it was predestined, but not everything has to be.

....I guess we'll find out.


Thursday, January 15, 2015

Hindsight On Hindsight 102

I must like VH1's Hindsight more than I care to admit because not only have I been trying to get my friends to watch it, but I picked watching it over AHS:Freakshow (I tend to buy the episodes off Amazon anyway. I still had the option to watch it on TV for a change though and that's the point). I'm also still here writing about it.


I have nothing to do today so let's crack open a bottle of Orbitz (Did anyone ever actually drink that besides me? I was literally the only person in my family that liked it. It was like drinking a lava lamp) and roll up only one pants leg and get this thing started. As usual all screenshots are from VH1's website where they are letting you watch Hindsight for free in case you missed it yesterday.


This episode starts off with Sean finding Becca at the bar last episode left us at. Well actually, it starts off with her chasing Sean as he angrily walks out of the bar away from her. This slightly confuses me. I can understand her indecision to not marry him, kind of. But why did he go to the bar? Was it really for a confrontation? If it was, why is the first shot of him walking out? We never get to see any type of 'We need to talk, Becca.' scene or anything in the last episode. There's nothing like that in this episode. Just her chasing him out. Did he just want to know where she was, just to know or something? Did he want to find her to pout at her?



 photo harrumph.png
To be fair, it is a marvelous pout.

Just a small blip of an opening scene would have better laid out his intentions. Even if it was just a scene of him about to say something and then shaking his head as he pouted all angrily and walked out going, 'forget it', or something.

***



 photo whatisalibrary.png


This is one of my favorite clichés. Something weird just happened? Let's rent all the movies we can find on that topic! Of course I think now a days that's been replaced by internet searches and forum topics.

***
I would like this show to please stop reminding me I am 19-20 years older, depending on the month, than I was in 1995.
***
I love how after Becca tells Lolly all about the wonders of Netflix and smart phones she thinks you can somehow access this technology that is 20 years away from a landline.




 photo ohlolly.png
Ohhhh, Lolly.

***

"It's called an iPhone."
"Is it in your eye?"

...Lolly!
***

After a scene of them watching movies about time travel (Nothing comes of the knowledge gained from these tapes. Not in this episode anyway) that developed into them talking about smart phones we finally get to talk precisely about why Angry Pout Cutie Face was such a piss poor husband. Basically, his life didn't go out the way he planned with his art. He couldn't suck it up and took it out on Becca who couldn't appease him no matter how hard she tried. I guess she blames herself mostly because she says she, 'Never learned how to be a wife.' There wasn't a lot of clarification on this and her and Lolly's conversation wasn't really that deep (how deeply can you really delve in an hour though?) so I'm left wondering, if this is how APCF reacts then how is she planning on reconciling this? His potentially crappy art is something she can't really change.
***



 photo greenrazor.png

This green razor was what you missed about the 90's? Honey. Get it together. I'm pretty sure you can still buy those.
***
I am amused that Becca apparently now has elevator based PTSD. I don't know why, I just am.
***
Becca goes back to her job where her boss declares that she is indeed the VP, just like she demanded last episode while she was running away from her wedding.




 photo whatareyoudoinginmyoffice.png
Except not.

I knew it was too easy. That bitchy fucking smirk, I love Mario Cantone's characters. I  just love Mario Cantone actually.
***

I can't quite blame Simon that much. If some hysterical time jumping wedding escape artist berated me and demanded I make her VP of Publicity of my company that I had put so much hard work into, and she only put a year of work into (at this point anyway), I wouldn't really jump the gun in giving it to her either. Even though Simon is supposed to be a shitty boss, he does have a point in asking her why she thinks she's qualified. This is what any boss does when asked for a raise or change in position. At least in my experiences anyway. Even if a boss thinks your qualified they usually want to hear from you why you think you are.



 photo tastemytears.png


Becca deals with her boss' actually reasonable request by screaming into the coffee he told her to go get. Becca, that is not the way you make people taste your anger. You're supposed to pee in his coffee, not scream into it. Haven't you ever watched any of those Naughty Employees Caught exposes on TV?
***
Oh my Gawd! The Gin Blossoms, I love them! I treadmilled to them last night.

But besides that, Lolly we talked about this. Stop macking on Keanu!
***

Lolly and Keanu sitting in a tree. W-H-A-A-T!



 photo sittinginatree.png

Then Lolly leaves because she 'Just can't do this' like two seconds later.

Was this scene just for drama? It didn't quite make sense to me. I guess she just wanted a kiss and it does fit Lolly-pop's flighty, eccentric nature. Besides, who really wants to sit in awkward silence while Becca and her mom Georgie trade teary sorries, insults, and inquiries about what to make of this after wedding mess. I'd take a make out session over that any day.
***

Becca is now in charge of returning gifts, so Andy is first up. Andy insists she keeps it and is all weird about it. Andy...did you give her a vibrator with your face on it?

No worries, it's just a picture of those two when they were younger in a frame. Andy... you're so nice. You're like a milquetoast Jim Halpert.
***

Becca rewards his sweetness with a kiss that Andy's girlfriend (Who is also Becca's coworker) walks in on towards the end.



 photo thankyoutastesgreat.png
I say thank you with tongue caresses. It's not weird. I promise.

Becca tries to save face by saying she came to thank her and Andy for the gift. Melanie plays it cool but we all know she saw it.
***

I really want Lolly's plaid shirt she wears in the scene to go get Becca's things from Sean. For some reason I have a hard time finding plaid. Or the right style of plaid shirt. I hope this show kick starts an everything plaid fashion trend.

I hope it starts an everything 90's fashion trend. That would make me so happy.
***

I'm going to be honest. I envy people who can fit all their things and pack them into one medium sized bag and one little box. Especially if they're moving out of an ex whatever's house. They're so lucky they don't need 8 awkward trips to get everything out, or a police escort while trying to get all those things out...or a mad dash to the car with your best friend and everything you own thrown into four trash bags.

...Ummmm....yeah. I'm just saying.
***

Becca thinks the new up and coming author is sleazy for inviting her to his room, but I thought she was asking him out on a date in the previous scene. It wasn't until the getting dressed scene after that her intentions for me were clear. His bad? Maybe. But also your bad, Becca.
***

Lolly is so cute asking Keanu if she's irresponsible. Aww Lolly, your new nickname should be Pin Ball Polly. Yeah, you're kind of irresponsible...I still love you though.
***

So after arguing with Lolly, talking with Hootie who shows up and mysteriously disappears again, and quitting her job, Becca decides to call Andy and leave a message on a voice mail apologizing for the kiss. She's all mysterious about it too. I have to ask, why be subtle on a voice mail if you're going to hint at what happened and why it was weird. I ask this even more so because I assume she's trying to be subtle since Melanie lives with Andy (I guess?), so why leave anything on a message at all? Does she think that only Andy will be able to hear it since it's his answering machine? That is not how an answering machine works.
***

Every time we get a scene with Becca's mother I like her more and more. Not because her character is truly great or anything. She just seems more and more like a fully realized character which I think is awesome. I was completely expecting some high class, I have more money than sense, stereotype of a mother. She's not though and I enjoy that about her.
***

Oh my Gawd, again! I love this song! It's Shine by Collective Soul. Youtube will not let me embed it for some reason...or Blogger won't. I'm not sure which. But it doesn't matter because then this happens.







 photo damn.png

Well damn Andy...that sure was...."nice".

Monday, January 12, 2015

Roses For The Rain

In her bed she turns her face,
And from the window comes the sun.
She opens her eyes and is blinded.
And there the days starts with her and pain being one.


She takes the hottest showers,
Wishing she could disappear through the drain.
She steps out clean but not yet cleansed.
She will plant roses for the rain.


Rational about her fate,
This is something that can't truly last.
To tend a growing future,
You must prune a decaying past.


Cold morning-dirt between her toes,
And a shovel in her hands,
The dull thudding of her heart is back,
But she has other plans.


For she is working in her garden,
Part of the emotionally lame,
Standing in the morning light,
Planting roses for the rain.


***


I was at work when I got a weird phrase in my head. It was the last stanza of the poem. I felt I should write it down before it left forever, but I didn't know what to do with it. Then I got bored one day and started looking through prompts I had written in a DIY art journal of mine. One of them said to write a poem so I did...obviously. I think this is the first poem I've written in about 5-6 years.


I'm glad I only had one part of a sheet of paper to write it on because this was going to be so much longer. The original stanza that popped into my head was:


"You can see her standing there,
Part of the emotionally lame,
Standing in the enveloping dusk,
Planting roses for the rain."


I was going to follow this chick through her whole day and all this shit. There was originally going to be a line about her putting sugar in her coffee just to get some sweetness back in her day. I'm glad I held back though. For a poem that's supposed to be positive that original stanza sounds so fucking negative. 'Enveloping dusk' still kind of sounds like you're succumbing to the negative thoughts unlike 'morning light'. It's a lot brighter, pardon the pun.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Hindsight On Hindsight 101

Spoiler warnings in case you have not yet watched the show Hindsight.


There is this new show on VH1 called Hindsight. I don't watch much TV anymore but the premise looked interesting so I thought what the hey hey. It's about this chick Rebecca Brady who is getting cold feet on her second wedding day. She's marrying a dude named Andy who just doesn't light her fire. Her father has gotten some young sparkle pony named Sabrina pregnant. She's still in the same shitty job she was in about 20 years ago and hasn't talked to her flaky fun house of a friend Lali (sp?) in ten of those years. Then she somehow time jumps and gets to relive everything. Fun.


So here's my first impressions.


The premise of this, combined with this chick and her new fiancée kind of reminds me of Sleepless in Seattle mixed with Back To The Future. The production value of this looks very Lifetime Movie Channel as well for some reason. Not that I'm complaining.
***
I really want to know why being married twice is being played out to be such a big deal here. Ross from Friends was married at least three to four times. I could understand it if it was only about the fact that she's getting older and her eggs are going rotten, or maybe she was some crazy partier or something and dating so many guys at once, but that's not the impression we get. Or at least not the one I get. She's very subdued, even in her flashbacks of herself, and all this emphasis is being placed on the second marriage itself. I mean yes, her bitchy cousin Pheobe and her mother Georgie do talk about children, but it's the marriage that gets the spotlight. This family loves Andy so it shouldn't be a huge deal.
***
Elevators are magical, so why do I insist on taking the stairs?
***
People on TV are the most graceful fainters in the world. Legit. When I got a really horrible flu in 8th grade and tried to walk up two flights of steps to get water, I almost passed out. I wound up stumbling in a dark kitchen while my vision darkened and slammed my arm on top of a table before crashing to my knees and almost falling face down on the floor. Why can't I just swoon properly?





 photo gracefulfainter.png
This, this is how you swoon.

Graceful as fuck looking.
***
My brother just walked into the living room and asked me if her brother Jamie was played by Keanu Reeves.


 photo maybekeanureeves.png

To be fair, it's not a horrible mistake to make.
***
I am now calling her hairstyle The Subtle Rachel.



 photo thesubtlerachel.png

Tell me I'm wrong.
***
I don't know about you but I already feel a kinship with Lolly/Lali/Molly? (I have no clue what they're calling her at this point or how to spell it. I could Google it, but fuck you) I really think if Hindsight takes off, we should get a Lolly/Lali/Molly centered spin off.
***
I do really like that they show that deep yearning to reconnect with her best friend in the beginning of the show (hey, if this show can time jump places, I can time jump topics). I almost always see shows where either the main character finds she's too cool for her old friend and there was a reason they lost touch, or they hate the hell out of each other. There's never anyone that truly misses what was, misses what that friend brought to their life, and just really wants it back. I know, I know, it's mainly because old friend is usually regulated to a guest actor, but still this was nice to see.
***
I miss my old Discman.
***
I really miss my overalls. I had like three pairs in the 90's, and a pair of shorts overalls. Apparently I was a part time farmer in the 90's.
***
You'd think that knowing what the next few years have been like Becca would have a quicker time deciding to marry him or not. If I really missed and loved my ex that much I would just call off the wedding and request couples counseling for the next three months or so. You'd get your answers there. I'm going to chalk this up to time jumper's jet lag.
***
I miss my fuzzy green scrunchy.
***
Oh Lolly-pop, no one liked AOHell back then. Even AOHell hated itself.
***
I'm kind of liking the 90's version of her mother. 00's mom sucked but this sassy one. I like it.




 photo nopretzels.png


"You bloat and you have an ugly cry-face, this is why you can't have pretzels." You tell her Georgie.
***
I'm now shipping Becca and poor man's Darius Rucker at the bar there.



 photo imsuchababyyeah.png


I bet dolphins make him cry.
***
Poor man's Heath Ledger is so cute. I'm getting her indecision now. I would absolutely re enact sexy Groundhog's Day with him.


 photo okguy.png


Look at that sexy little monkey.
***
That stupid grape, you're horrible and I hate you.



 photo excuseyourself.png

You've already excused yourself grape, and now you may leave.
***
By the by, I'm convinced that Lali/who-knows-at-this-point knew how awful Bitchy Pheobe would look in her grape costume and she was the final vote in getting those horrible bride's maid dresses because that's just the awesome type of friend she is. Taking one for the team Lolly-pop.
***
I think I just heard someone call her Wally and now I'm certain this show is fucking with me.
***
Five minutes left of this show and I'm not sure if I want Becca to get it on with Hootie and his Blowfish, Marry Lolly-pop, or have an amazing Thelma and Louise-esque trip across the states with her.
***
And it's over. I'm not sure if I truly like this new show, but I like it's premise and it has left me wanting to see more. So there's that.

Also, long live Queen Lolly-pop!
 
 photo lalli.png


Pet theory at this point: I think Hootie is a red herring and Lolly dabbles in witchcraft (because that is such a her thing to do). After Becca's call she cast a time spell so Becca could redo all her past mistakes. She is such a good friend.

P.S. Obviously all the screen shots were taken from VH1's website. I screenshotted them as I re watched Hindsight. I have no clue how sourcing pictures even works anymore if that wasn't already obvious.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Random Thoughts VII

I don't understand why some people think actors that take on a more intellectual character makes them intellectual or gives them depth as a person. Especially the actors that are perceived as being stupid people. I can understand it being a nice breather to see them portray an intelligent person but unless they came up with the lines on the script it doesn't mean jack. I just always thought that was odd. And it's not me reading their online comments or misunderstanding what these people are saying. Some people just really do think that smart script lines makes the actors themselves smart. Weird.
***
When I was younger I used to think that pizza crust was made by the workers rolling the pizza dough, but couldn't understand why it didn't look rolled up on the inside.
***
Sometimes I think it would be really awesome to be a mermaid, then I realize how fucking horrifying it would be to be a mermaid. There are way too many fish out there that eat other fish. Unless it's some sort of under the sea yuppie villa kingdom like in The Little Mermaid, or you had some inherent fish magic that made other fish either servants or steer clear of you, you'd be so screwed. I mean there's sharks for one, jellyfish for another. You also have barnacles which will just attach themselves anywhere. What if they get in your eyes? Then if you go really deep there are Angler Fish, which I swear are the meth heads of the sea.





angler fish photo: female angler fish angler_fish.jpg
source: Photobucket




Like seriously, look at it. No wonder Ariel wanted to sprout legs and get inside a damn house. I think if I was a mermaid I would spend my time trying to swim while curled up into a fetal position.
***


What is it about the ending 'ie' that makes a name feminine. Like Billy is masculine, but Billie is the feminine form. I know the letter 'y' kind of looks like a penis, but it is just a letter.